


Why Now

by NicoBookman



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-05
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-05-26 05:09:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 26,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6225241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NicoBookman/pseuds/NicoBookman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lavi and Allen and what is happening to them in the present after having to fight the Noah clan, and losing even generals to them. What happens when they relive their lives while being locked up far from each other? Allen in the Black Order, Lavi with the Noah clan? What will happen to their resolve when they remember the hardest times together, and think that the other is dead. What lengths are they willing to go to for their love? But more importantly, can they survive the emotional, mental, and physical torture to come.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Why Now

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, Laven time,  from D. Gray Man, which I do not own. I can't even if I want to. I have no idea where this is actually going to go, I have no plot line (Psh, I never do.) so, yeah, leave comments if you have any ideas. It's going to start further back, and have little memories cause, yay.

Allen's POV

I'm not really sure what happened to me, all I can really remember is waking up after having to fight Kanda to stop him from killing Alma. I still can't believe he was so easily taken over by that damn Noah. God, this was pissing me off. The last thing I actually remember was sending the two off through the Ark, and being threatened not do such a thing by Lvellie. I've been branded a traitor, and a Noah, known as only the 14th. 

I was still forbidden to see Master ever since I have been locked up; I've had no contact from my friends in the Order, if they thought we were still friends. I've not eaten anything since being locked up, they could have had the science department made some type of drug to get me to talk and tell them where I have sent Kanda and Alma to, and why I hadn't killed Alma but instead protected him.

Link has still been watching over me; but he's really only been trying to get me to talk to him and to eat.  

Lavi's POV 

Allen had the 14th living inside of him, cutting his life span shorter. A parasite type exorcist had a short life, and so do those who have Noah inside them; so this has cut Allen's life short by, maybe, twice as much as before we knew he was going to become a Noah. And even before that, he's fought Noah. (Road and Tyki) Even I have fought Noah, I was fighting Road inside her dream area; I had to fight against myself, which made me wonder what Allen had gone through in there.

I even attacked Allen while I was basically under the control of Road. And Allen fought Tyki, the person who had tried to kill him before; Allen should be dead, he had his heart eaten by Tyki's tease and his innocence was destroyed, yet it still exists now, and so does he.

Lenalee and Allen have both had their innocence protect them, and are now both in consideration of have the "heart." But as of now, I'm nowhere near the two of them; in fact, I'm not even sure what has happened to everyone at the order.

Bookman and I have been taken captive by some of the Noah clan. I have some type of parasite living in me now, and Bookman is being asked so many questions; the main one: What was Road's relationship with the 14th?  

Allen's POV   

I sat leaning against the wall of the cell, looking at the chains that were connected to me. I had turned the same shade of grey as the other Noah.  The door opened, but I didn't look up.

There had been a table in the room, along with just one chair. I hadn't been able to move that far, really, and there was the bench attached to the wall. "Walker, eat." It was Link again, and he had food, again. "I got it from Jerry, it's not drugged you brat." He said in an irritated voice, letting out a sigh. I had looked up as soon as he had said it was from Jerry; I had trusted, and liked Jerry. I had also grown fond of Link, and I'm sure there was an amount of trust somewhere in the mix. Just because he had been working under Lvellie didn't mean that he was someone that was horrible, mean, and only cared about what his job was. He was still human after all, so he did care about peoples' feelings, and he was able to make friends, even if he had been a part of Crow; though, I doubt he knows that I was able to figure it out.

I've talked with Master, before all of this happened. He knows more than he's told me, but that's where I had to first clue. Link was in there, it was his barrier; he used it when we went get Timothy, the new exorcist.

Lavi's POV

I don't know how long I've been here, but it feels like it's been a long time. But I'm not sure, Bookman's still not talking, and every time, I feel worse, with every question they ask. "You better talk old man, you don't want to lose another apprentice at your age, and how things are going now." One of the Noah said in what sounded like a taunting voice. I had been fading in and out of consciousness, so there were things I missed, but I could never get the old panda to talk to me and tell me what was going on.

I know Bookman are supposed to be rid of their feelings, but this much just pissed me off while Bookman sat there, not emotion to be found on his face or in his movement. But I knew what was going on. They were planning to kill me, and Bookman was going to let them do as they wanted because we can never give up information to the enemy, even if that meant one of us dying. And with that, I fell back into my unconscious state, reminiscing in the past.

That's when I realized it, I missed Allen.  


	2. The Past Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize now looking back at this that it's really OOC but it gets better. Please excuse my year old writing.

Lavi’s POV

I was sitting in the dining hall with Lenalee, Mari, and Kanda. But, he was still being distant, as always. This is why I always found it fun to mess with him. “HEY YUU!” Hah, I was irritating him again. “Shut it, damn rabbit!” Kanda was always yelling at me for using his name, which made me want to do it even more. “Hey. You two be nice to each other. What are you going to do if you have to go on a mission together, and you mess it up because you can’t get along?” Lenalee said. She was always saying things like that, but I guess it’s understandable.

Everyone here was like family to her. Actually, a lot of the exorcists and finders thought that way, even Jerry. But I suppose I’m still different from them. I am the successor of Bookman after all.

"I’m leaving, I already have a mission.” Kanda said. Always so quick to run away. “But Yuu, why are you leaving us already?!” “Damn rabbit! I’ll kill you!” And with that, Mugen was currently against my throat. “Ah… Haha, I get it, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” I said, and Kanda was walking out the door. That’s when the alarms started going off.

Allen’s POV

“Wah! I didn’t do anything! What’s going on?!” I yelled, before I was being yelled back at. “AKUMA! HE’S AN AKUMA! DANGER, DANGER!!”

What is he?  A gatekeeper? I wondered, putting my hands up instinctively, not knowing it would only make him more agitated, and earn a katana to be pointed at me. “If he says you are an akuma, then you’re going to die today.” He said, and not to mention, he seemed too calm pointing katana at a human. “NO! NO! NO! I’M JUST CURSED! A CURSE!” I swear I was crying. “All akuma who cross my path die, but for you to so openly come up here… Mugen, activate.” He’s going to kill me!? “Innocence, activate!” And with that, my arm turned into an anti-akuma weapon. But there’s one problem… He just cut my arm! Even in the activated state!

"NO! You should have gotten a letter from my master! General Cross!” Somehow, that sentence stopped him from killing me. He was only seconds away, a blade near my neck.

Lavi’s POV

“Hey, Komui, what’s going on?” I asked, walking into his “office.” I all truth, he was hardly in there at all, and it was covered in papers, letters, and reports, all of which probably hadn’t been opened.

“You should have gotten a letter from my master! General Cross!” Well, whoever he was, he was saying some strange things. That general hadn’t been back to the head quarters in years. Around five I think. But he had a student? When he hardly did his job, and was always spending large amounts of the Black Order’s money on alcohol? But it seems to have stopped even Kanda… Wait, why was Kanda still here? But now Komui was looking at me, so I had gotten his attention.

"Well, as you see. It seems there’s an akuma outside. But he’s claiming to have a letter here, so, time to search!” You’re kidding, right? He really doesn’t even look at what he gets either? “Ah! It seems he’s telling the truth! Let him in Kanda!” “Komui… Did you really overlook something from General Cross?” I asked, even that left me speechless. “NO! OF COURSE NOT!” He’s lying. Well, beside that. He looked around my age, but he had a scare on his left eye, and white hair. This might be interesting.

Allen’s POV

As soon as I returned my arm to normal… IT WAS A COMPLETE WRECK! I can’t believe he could do something like that. He’s just like my master. What type of master hits their student over the head, and leaves them? Well... Mine... But that’s not the point. After that, I’m not sure exactly what happened, but someone, uh, fixed my arm? And then brought me to someone who supposedly holds all innocence that isn’t being used by an exorcists. After that, a girl named Lenalee was walking me to my new room. Actually, after looking a bit more, this place is huge.

“This is your room. I hope you’ll come to like this place a lot.” Ah, she seemed happy, even if people saw us differently. But, I wonder why she’s so happy. “Yes. I do too.” I said with a smile. She was a nice girl, also around my age, or I assume so. I was about to walk into my room, but I was stopped, by my stomach. I was hungry. Lenalee hadn’t left yet, so she had heard. “Allen, are you hungry? I had forgotten that parasite types normally ate a lot.” Komui said something about that as well. “Ah, yes I am. I’m sorry.” “No, it’s fine. We can get you some food.”

Lavi’s POV

Well, this time Kanda had actually left, again. And now we had a new exorcist. I bet Komui screwed up again, and most likely scared him. I thought laughing. That much made me laugh, he had always done that, and it never gets better. Worse in fact. Actually, I could just watch him and be able to tell. Speaking of which, why exactly is he in the dining hall? Even after that he can eat? It’s actually shocking.

The records the Bookman took about parasite type exorcists didn’t sound very enjoyable, in fact, even painful could explain it. “Ah, Lavi!” It was Lenalee. She was practically friends with everyone, she even thought that she was, and could be friends with a Bookman, or his successor. Well, she was bringing along the new exorcist, so it wouldn’t hurt to talk to them, I can record more that way.

And beside that, he was interesting. White hair, and a cursed eye. “Hey Lenalee! What’s up?” Just the same fake smile as always, the same way of speaking, and the same actions; no one should be able to tell any of it was fake.

Allen’s POV

Well, I was being dragged around again, but I’m actually surprised to see how many other exorcists and finders are around my age. But I will have to say, a majority of the finders seem to be adults. Besides that, if I just stay to myself, it should be fine. I won’t really be causing that much trouble, well until I eat that is. I tend to eat more than I think I should.

"Oh, yeah, that’s the new recruit right?” Oh, there talking about me. That seems to be all that’s happening really. And I get the feeling it’s because of my master. Just what has he actually done. “-En... Allen!” Were they talking to me? Actually, why wasn’t I paying attention. “Uh... Yes? Sorry.” Is that all I can really say? “Lavi wants to talk to you. You know, it’s not good to space out. Are you really that hungry?”

Did I make them angry? Hungry? Well, I am, but not so much that I would be spacing out... “No, that’s really not it. I was just thinking. I’m sorry.” I’m continually apologizing. I’ve always been like this haven’t I? “No, it’s fine. But what were you thinking about that could cause that much of a blank?” That’s not Lenalee’s voice… It’s Lavi’s? “Actually, I was just thinking about what I could have done to attract all this attention.” That wasn’t the complete truth, but it’s about all I could really say.

What did they expect? I wasn’t actually going to tell them that my master probably caused me to gain this unwanted attention.

Lavi’s POV

What he had done huh? Nothing really. All it really took was being associated with General Cross. That’s the ticket. He hasn’t been back in around five years. “Oh, is that it? That’s a really easy thing to answer. Well, you see, he hasn’t contacted the Order in years. So, the fact that there’s been this unknown apprentice of his is a real shock. To, well everyone.” Am I being blunt? I don’t think so. He was the one wondering about it anyways, though it doesn’t seem like he was only thinking about that.

The entire thing must have been a shock to him as well. He was basically dragged into this. “Okay, I see. Thank you for explaining it to me.” He’s strangely polite, for his age at least. Well, what is his age? He seems younger than I am. “Hey, Allen, just how old are you?”  I’ve always seemed to ask questions just randomly when they come to mind.

Allen’s POV

That was odd, I suppose. “I’m fifteen?” He actually was more of a confusing guy than he actually looked. And maybe he even seemed a little too curious? I’m not exactly sure how I’m supposed to explain this.

"Well, then why don’t you explain that cursed eye of yours?” That’s not something I was exactly willing to answer. Well, not precisely, but, I’ve always given oddly vague answers for those type of questions. “Oh... My eye...” Oh, lovely, I had just gotten quieter. I always, always hated talking about this. “I got this from my father…” Whom is now dead, and had been for years, ever since I met those two… “And the hair?” Why is it that I have to deal with these types of questions every time I meet people. The only times I haven’t had to is with my master, and the Millennium Earl. “That.. My hair also turned white after I was cursed.” Ah, I hated this, so much so that I lost my appetite.

"Why did-“ I know it’s rude to cut people off, and that I shouldn’t do it, but in all truth I felt sick. I hated this topic. I hated talking about Mana like he had done something wrong when he hadn’t. This all happened to me because I did something that I shouldn’t have. It was my fault. “I’m really sorry. But I don’t feel so well. I’m going to go back to my room. I’m sorry.” I was only hoping I wouldn’t get lost, but I could hear Lenalee yelling at Lavi for asking such insensitive questions, and making me feel uncomfortable. But that wasn’t exactly the case. I just really hated talking about Mana.


	3. The First Day

Lavi’s POV

Ah, before I knew it Lenalee started yelling at me for that. I was just curious, I’ve never seen someone like that before. A fifteen year-old with a cursed eye and white hair. Who wouldn’t want to know? I just really wanted to record him, because of his eye and hair.

"Why would you do that Lavi?! Now he probably doesn’t want to be here! What if he actually leaves?! We need as many Exorcists as we can get! Go fix this!” It’s not exactly my fault. He’s just overly sensitive. But, I was still chasing after this kid. (I am older than he, though not by much. Three years in fact.) It took me a minute to find him.

I did have Lenalee tell me where his room was, but he wasn’t there. I think he got lost? “Hey! Allen! Can I talk to you?” I called, yeah he turned back to look at me, though he didn’t look so happy to see me. Not that it bothered me, but that was a moderately quick decision of whether he liked me or not. “Ah, yes, what is it?” Again with this? Isn’t he overly polite too? I mean, he is fifteen. “Yeah, I just wanted to apologize for before. I was being rude, huh.” Allen was smiling at me, though it doesn’t seem… Real.

"No, it’s fine. I’m just not exactly used to this type of thing. It’s a bit strange to me, that’s all.” He’s not very sociable is he. “Yeah, that’s how it normally is. It was like that for me to.” Ah, the effectiveness of a fake smile helps just about everything.

Allen’s POV

I really don’t understand Lavi. He didn’t have to apologize for asking me questions about myself. And beside that, they were questions that I was always asked by anyone I met. “Oh, really? I wouldn’t be able to tell. You fit in here. Much more than I do.” Well, I don’t exactly tend to fit into the places I’ve been. The reason should be obvious. “Really? That’s good, I actually like it here!” He gets really loud, which actually caused my smile to waver, which I do hope he didn’t notice. “Ah, sorry, sorry!” He talks more than I do as well. “No it’s fine. Like I said earlier, I just don’t feel well.” So he did notice me...

“I would think. You did have your arm cut by Yuu, and Komui probably ‘fixed’ your arm…” How did he know about my arm? “Ah… Yeah, that’s true. But he also didn’t exactly explain what was going on either.” Not like my master helped the situation much, though. “Come to think of it... Are you lost? You passed your room too.” Well now, how does he know where my room is? “Ah, I do tend to get lost easily. And how big this building is doesn’t exactly help me.” I sighed after. I actually get lost a lot.

“Want me to show you again?” Well, he does seem like the type of person to do something like that, considering he tracked me down just to apologize to me. “Yes, that would help me out a lot actually.” And before I said anything else, he nodded and started walking off, making me walk faster than I normally would have to catch up.

Lavi’s POV

Allen has more of a personality than I first thought; well, maybe I should be saying he’s got more to discover than I first thought. He seems to be interesting. And beside that, I don’t exactly know how his father cursed him and turned his hair white, but I want to. More than I did when I first saw him, even more.

I looked back at him a few times while I walked him to his room. He might just be more curious about HQ then I was when I first got here to become an exorcist with the old panda. He wears formal attire, and gloves. Silver eyes, plus the white hair and cursed eye. What next?

“I think you’ll like it here once you get used to the place.” By then he was walking next to me, but I don’t think he realized he was. Well, I did see him jump a bit when I talked. “I probably will like it here. It will most likely be a better place to be than traveling with my master...” He doesn’t want to seem to talk about his time with General Cross either. Just what happened to Allen when he was with Cross? Just the mention seems to make him sick.

"It seems like you’ve know General Cross for a while. How did you two meet?” I’m actually wondering why Cross would willing teach someone. “Oh, he found me after... It’s a bit of a long story actually. I don’t think you’ll want to hear it.” Now what’s stopping him from telling me? He really does seem to have quite the interesting past. To have been cursed, have a parasite type innocence, and met and trained under Cross.

Allen’s POV

“Oh. Well, I’d like to know, so tell me sometime. But, we’re here.” Lavi’s voice pulled me out of reliving the hellish life, that “training” with Cross. He is a horrible master.

"Oh. Thank you.” Well, at least I didn’t have to force a smile this time. It was more natural this time, I suppose. “Ah, thanks for helping me.” Though, I do find it embarrassing that I can’t even remember where my own room is located. “Sure. Let’s talk again, later, kay?” Lavi said. He seems like someone I could get along with, so I think it should be fine. If the questioning stops. To me, personally it felt like an interrogation. “Alright.” Was really all I could say, then he was walking away with his hands on the back of his head.

Come to think of it, he was always normally walking around like that. As soon as I walked into my room, the first thing I noticed was the painting on the back wall. It had a creepy feeling to it, but, it’s not something that I couldn’t handle. After all, I had seen worse. Something I wish I could forget. Well, it was all strange, but if it hadn’t happened at all, I wouldn’t be here right now.

I walked over to my bed, and laid down. I hadn’t actually, known how tired I was before until I was finding it hard to stay awake. Though I shouldn’t be finding it surprising, I had, after all, climbed up the ledge to get here, and had my anti-akuma weapon cut, plus, Komui “worked” on it to help me. In fact, what he did was more painful than what Kanda had done in the first place.


	4. Back Home

Lavi’s POV

It’s been about a week since Allen got here, and well, he doesn’t let much on when we talk. I can’t figure anything out on my own, really. He’s got this strange ability to hide what he’s thinking behind that smile of his, and how he talks. It’s really not normal at all for a teenager. He’s too polite when he talks, to anyone actually, even Yuu. He hasn’t told me anything about his eye, and hair, or how his father did it to him, not that I expect him to know something like that. All I can say I’ve learned is that he has a huge appetite, and that he went through some type of hell while with cross.

"Hey, Allen.” I said, smiling at him, and he smiled back, walking over to me. Now that I think about it more, he should be going on a mission soon. “Hello. Want to walk with me?” He said; like I was saying, he’s too polite for his age. “Sure. Where you going?” I asked, raising my brow, having a feeling that it was to Komui’s office. The messiest place here in the Order. “Oh, Lenalee said that Komui wanted to see me for something.” Allen said, just as I thought.

Allen’s POV

I was going to Komui’s like his sister had told me to do, though I wasn’t sure why. “Oh! That’s gonna be fun!” Lavi said which confused me. He seemed to always been energetic, but I never knew why he was always like that, and much less what he was thinking about. “Alright?” I replied. It was strange, but Lavi always seemed to look at me strangely every time he saw me. Though, most people did too; I was always wearing my jacket with the hood over my head, and I always had my gloves on. Not much more than that was visible.

We walked to his office with Lavi mainly talking, like always, or for how long I’ve known him, that’s what he normally did. When we got there, you couldn’t even see the floor, beside a small path way that lead to a desk, that was covered with paper, so much that it was stacked above both our heads, and that’s saying something, seeing how much taller Lavi was than me. And there was more than one stack of papers, which looked untouched; you couldn’t even see the person on the other side. “Allen! I see you brought Lavi! What a coincidence!” Coincidence?

Lavi’s POV

“So, I guess I’m the one going with him?” I asked, glancing at Allen, who seemed completely confused. What did General Cross tell him? Absolutely nothing? You’ve got to be kidding. “That’s right! You’re going! Of course, Bookman will be going with you, since that’s what we agreed upon.” Komui said, making me sigh.

It’s like that old panda didn’t trust me to go on a mission without him. I’m not some kid anymore. “Alright, then where are we going?” I asked, knowing that he’d just tell us that, and then make us read the rest for ourselves, like always, he’s just lazy. “Wait, what are you two talking about?” Allen said, interrupting our conversation, which he clearly couldn’t follow, seeing as he didn’t know anything about what we were talking about. Way to go General Cross.

"Well, you see, Exorcists go out on these missions to either kill Akuma, or collect free Innocence.” Allen only seemed to understand the first thing Komui said. “Free Innocence?” He asked, though, it might just have been cute at how he looked when he was confused. “Yes, there are two types of Innocence, a weapon type, like Lavi’s or Kanda’s, or a parasite type, like yours.” Then it clicked for him.

Allen’s POV

I felt Lavi’s eyes on me as Komui explained, which, I did find a bit weird, but he always seemed to be watching me, like he was trying to read me like a book or something along the lines. Of course, I couldn’t tell what he was doing when he was watching me; I was always too nervous, or afraid to look back at him when I felt his eyes. “That makes more sense...” I murmured to myself.

"Alright, now that that’s done, you’ll be going after I explain a few things.” He said, that’s when I glanced at Lavi, and he only shook his head, as if he was disappointed with something. The explanation that Komui gave was a bit too long, yet he said that there was still more, and handed me a file which was... Heavy for having only paper in it. Though, I was glad to have to read rather than have him explain everything, seeing as he was constantly getting off track, and talking about something else.

After I got the folder, he let us leave. “Go head down there, I’ll bring the old panda.” Lavi said, running off to get a panda? But I didn’t even know where I was supposed to go, or what he was talking about. I mean, I hardly had any idea that there was another way to get up here, without climbing. This caused people to think I was some type of monster. And an Akuma do to my curse mark.

Lavi’s POV

I left Allen to go get the old panda, or my master, as General Cross had been his. Though, he tended to kick me every time I did something to his dislike.

“We have a mission to go on with the newest member.” Bookman only looked at me, telling me to leave without actually having to say anything. It was just that look he was giving me, which was all too familiar; it was that disrupt-me-and-I’ll-kill-you look that he constantly gave me. “Alright, alright. Just meet us down there then.” I said, practically running from him, though he always seemed to be able to out run me, even for his age  Whatever that was.

Though, when I got there, the Finder hadn’t seen Allen at all since that big scene it caused when he got here, so he hadn’t been down there yet. He was either lost or got dumped into doing something for someone. He was too nice for his own good. Well, too polite, which counts as nice, in a way. He was in just about the same spot as I had left him, but he was talking to someone. That looked like he needed help with carrying some things.

"Allen! I thought I told you to meet us down there?” I really just didn’t want to wait for him to finish. He is kinda small, so who knows how long it would take.

Allen’s POV

“Ah! Right. I just didn’t know where to go, sorry.” Actually, I might have forgotten when I started talking to the Finder. “You don’t know?” Lavi said, sighing, shaking his head. “Of course you don’t, you’re the same person who climbed all the way up here too. Come on, let’s go. I’ll show around when we get back.” He said, starting to walk away, leaving me to catch up to him.

He seemed a lot faster when I got left behind, which, I’ll have to admit I didn’t like. I actually didn’t like looking at anyone’s back. Not after what happened. “Why didn’t you say anything before I left?” He asked, and honestly, I didn’t know. I’m stubborn, and I know it, I thought I wouldn’t get lost. Or just stand there like an idiot.

“Well, I just figured I would find my way.” I replied, and Lavi just gave me one of his exasperated looks, this one scream ‘Are you serious?’ in my face. “Really, you can’t find your way back to your room. The only place I’ve actually seen you get to on your own would be the dining hall.”  He said, shaking his head in disapproval. Ouch, that hurt.

Lavi’s POV

I don’t know how I actually forgot that no one had shown Allen anywhere other than his room, and well, the dining hall. Plus, he gets lost easily. If had actually tried to get there on his own, he would have ended up on the floor where all of Komui’s projects end up. That’s how you kill an exorcist without an Akuma, Millennium Earl.

It took a while to get there, actually, about two days by train, but I was still having trouble getting Allen to talk to me. He wouldn’t start a conversation himself, so I was always doing it, and it seemed like he never really knew what to say to me. I never thought I’d have so much trouble talking to anyone, especially not someone younger than me. The only thing he openly talked to me about was how much he hated Yuu. They hadn’t had very good meetings actually. But what pissed him off the most was the nickname Yuu had given him. “Bean sprout.”

That made the ride long, and boring, because I’d unfortunately hadn’t grabbed a book. But at least we made it there. England.


	5. Memories and Pain

Allen’s POV

I never thought that I’d be coming back to England. Well, at least I hadn’t actually planned on it. But, here I am, the place where Mana raised me, and where he died. Twice. Where General Cross found me after the Millennium Earl. I don’t exactly have happy memories here, or at least not any that can easily out-weigh what happened.

Lavi was talking about something, I think it was some kind of history of England, but I wasn’t exactly paying attention to him. Which, he unfortunately noticed. “Are you listening to me, Allen?” I have to admit that his actions did get a little annoying from time to time, depending on what I was doing, but now he was just a really good distraction. “No, sorry I was just thinking about something.” I said, letting out a small laugh. Lavi somehow made me pretty nervous. “About what? Or are you lying because I was boring you?” Lavi asked, again, that green eye just seemed to be watching my every move, but it also made me wonder what happened to his other. “No, it’s not that. I was actually just thinking about something else.” I said, though I wasn’t about to just tell him I used to live here before Mana died. And General Cross started to ‘train’ me.

 Lavi’s POV

 Allen was still acting pretty strangely. He actually had been ever since we got onto the train. He’d barely respond to anything I said unless I said something about Yuu. Then I got a decent reaction, and a little bit of a conversation until the subject changed.

Whatever it was he was thinking about, he’d been thinking about it for a while. And I think it was bothering him, but there’s no way he’s going to tell me what he’s thinking about. He’s never really told me anything. “Okay. Well, we’d better go check in so we know where to go back to after looking for the innocence.” I said, yeah, he was definitely distracted, but at least he started to pay attention. “Alright, then let’s go.” Allen said, with a smile of course, but this one was like one he gave to Yuu.

I don’t know if I pissed him off, or that he was bothered by something. But either way, we walked to the hotel and checked in. But he didn’t seem interested in really anything that was around us.

Allen’s POV

Everything was just about the same as I remembered it from when I was with Mana. But at least we came here for an important reason. Innocence. After we checked into the hotel, we went around looking for it. We even got food at one point; though Lavi was still surprised that I could eat so much for my size. But then again, I did have a parasite type innocence in my arm.

I had expected there to be an Akuma since there was supposed to be innocence here in England, but my eye wasn’t reacting to anyone. I’m seriously starting to doubt that there’s innocence here, or if Komui was just messing with us, though I doubt it. But the fact that I was having these thoughts was just distracting me, because when my eye did activate because of an Akuma, I couldn’t react fast enough, and the next thing I felt was pain.

I’ve never actually been shot with one of their bullets from behind, but now I know. It really hurts, good thing I won’t actually die from it. The next thing I actually heard was Lavi’s voice. What was he doing..? I think he was yelling my name? Probably fighting the Akuma too. But I had to wait to even be able to move. 


	6. An Attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trying to keep this updated to the newest, I realize how short my chapter were in the beginning.

Lavi’s POV

Allen had been acting strangely just before we were attacked. Like he wanted to say something, but then, he got shot. Allen’s going to die. I couldn’t even think about anything else that had to do with him before I was the only being attacked. I had to activate my innocence quickly, and fight back, and that’s exactly what I did. There was only one problem. This Akuma wasn’t a level one, but a level two. I’d only ever fought, what two, three, level two? But never alone. I always had the old panda with me, or even someone else. This wasn’t going to end well for anyone. Just how many people had to die for this thing?

But I was right, I can’t do this alone. It was like an exchange of blows, the Akuma getting more than myself. I got closer, and tried to hit him with my hammer, but he just dodged it and attacked me, slamming me into a wall. That hurt, but I still had to get up. I still had to fight, the Millennium couldn’t get any innocence. I needed Allen to fight but he had to be dead. The thing was, when I looked over, the stars were receding... Into him?

Allen’s POV

I swear I blacked out for a little while. Because the next thing I was doing was pushing myself up, then I heard Lavi’s voice. “Allen?!” Well, he definitely sounded confused. And somehow desperate? That’s when I looked over to see that he was struggling to get up from a wall, then the Akuma came into sight. How? How did I not see the Akuma before I was hit?

“Innocence activate!” Was all I could really say before I jumped in to help Lavi. Now he was wounded, and I was supposed to be dead. I’d have some explaining to do. I’d never actually fought a level two, so I was definitely getting beaten up, thrown into walls, on the floor, taking hits. Every move I made just seemed useless. Luckily, Lavi was there, and I was pretty much just acting as bait, or a distraction so Lavi could attack him.

It took a while, we were both getting knocked around. I had to try a lot of different things. Coming from behind, the sides, straight from the front, even above. Which I was doing. I jump down on him from above while Lavi attacked him from the front, one of us was bound to hit him, but it wasn’t me. Instead, he knocked me right out of the air, and was trying to crush me on the street.

Lavi’s POV

I had to act fast, Allen was being crushed, and I had an opening. I definitely liked fighting with more experienced people. We didn’t get thrown around as much then. But I took the shot anyways, and knocked the Akuma right into the air where Allen had previously been. Then Allen attacked him, and bye-bye Akuma. Took long enough, got hit hard enough too. But Allen had actually taken the brunt of the beating.

I moved over to him quickly. He was sitting down, and he looked like he might be sick. He had been crushed, so it was explainable. “You okay?” I asked, crouching down by him. “Not really. I’ve been thrown around enough, so please don’t make it worse.” Ouch. I know I say some insensitive things some times, but not when we get attacked.

"Right, sorry. But do you want to tell me how exactly you survived being shot?” I asked. Truthfully, it was pretty weird, but I had heard rumors.

Allen’s POV

“Oh. The innocence neutralizes it so that it won’t kill me.” I said simply with a small shrug that sent pain through my body. I was done moving now. I wouldn’t unless I had to. “Okay, I figured that. But what were you going to say before you were attacked?”

He just keeps asking questions, but sometimes I won’t answer, since it would only lead to more questions. “No, it was probably nothing, but I can’t remember. I did get shot as I was about to talk.” I answered, but Lavi only nodded. I had a feeling that he didn’t quite believe me. “Can we just go back to the hotel please?” Now it was my turn to ask.

"Only for a while. A sort rest, and to take care of injury. If there was a level two Akuma here, there might just be innocence that we need to get.” He said, though he seemed just as disappointed as I was. He helped me up, and I grunted, complaining the entire way back.


	7. Secrets

Lavi’s POV

I’m not sure why, but it feels like Allen lies to me sometimes, depending on what I ask him, and sometimes it seems just totally random. But I can’t exactly push him on it, seeing as Hevlaska called him ‘The Destroyer of Time.’ Whatever that’s supposed to mean.

When we got back to the hotel, all we really did was bandage each other up. “Not many people were hiding in doors. So do you think that the Akuma just showed up?” Allen asked, but he was right, people weren’t hiding inside until we started fighting. But then again, they could all very well be Akuma. “I’m not sure. The Millennium probably just sent a few level ones and twos here to check and see if there was any innocence.” I replied, finishing wrapping up his chest. It was strange, doing sort of made me anxious. Allen’s entire existence makes me anxious; I wonder why.

“But that was the only Akuma there.” Was Allen mumbling to himself now? And how does he even know if that was the only Akuma there. It should be impossible to tell. “Allen, you can’t tell Akuma from human. They take a human’s skin." I definitely heard what he said, but he froze when I brought it up, and just turned to look at me. So he was hiding something from me; something important I guess.

Allen’s POV

I said something I shouldn’t have. I already said something about Mana cursing me, my eye. And now I had practically just told him I was hiding things from him. And it was something I thought was actually really important. Being able to see an Akuma soul was a blessing, and a curse. It’s probably what actually kept me alive when I was with General Cross.

"About that... I already knew that there was an Akuma, just before it attacked. But I didn’t really see any others.” I said hesitantly. He wasn’t going to be very happy about that. “But I-“ And then he cut me off. “How did you know there was an Akuma, and why didn’t you tell me earlier?” Lavi said; like I said, he was not happy about me hiding it. “Well, I was trying to say I didn’t have any time to react to it. Much less tell you. And believe me, I was going to tell you.” I mumbled, averting my gaze. I was just trying to explain it to him. “But how did you know? How is it even possible to tell them apart?” He asked yet another question. I only hoped I wouldn’t have to tell him absolutely everything. I wasn’t exactly up for it at the moment.

Lavi’s POV

How could he just hide these kinds of things from people? He can see the difference between the two, but he doesn’t tell anyone about it? That’s just not right. Not only that, but it probably could have given us an upper hand when we were fighting that level two.

“I’m sorry. Just let me explain. And you still need to take care of your injuries.” He said quietly. Why was he acting timid? It’s not like I don’t already know, unless he’s still hiding something. “Fine, whatever. Just get it over with.” I don’t even remember a time I was this angry. Why can he do these things to me? Allen moved around me silently, and just started working on my body, not talking.

“Well?” I prompted. I wanted to know. I’m a Bookman, it’s what I do. I learn things and record them, this is worthy of that. “You asked me about my cursed eye before, when I’d just gotten to the Order. I told you my father did it. But he did it when I was killing him.” He voice just dropped even more. I wouldn’t have been able to hear a thing he was saying if he hadn’t been right behind me. “Okay? Go on.” Again, I was prompting him to answer me.

"He died once before that. And I met the Earl, and he brought my father back from the dead." He paused again, but I didn’t say anything. I had nothing to say. If that was true, Allen should be dead along with his father, and an Akuma. But here he was, with innocence in his arm.

"When he brought him back, and tried to take over my body, my innocence activated on its own. And then destroyed his ‘body.’” What? How does that even happen?

Allen’s POV

I didn’t really like talking about this subject at all. It brought up the last, horrible, memories that I had of Mana.

"When he was dying for the second time, he cursed me before he as gone. He cut my eye, and my hair turned white probably around the same time. After that it’s really just hazy. I was sitting there for a few hours, and then General Cross found me, and said that he’d train me.” I stopped again, taking a breath.

Now I got to remember every memory I had with Cross. My master. All of which, were horrible. Paying off his debts, him leaving me alone to kill my friend, fight a group of level ones, and hitting me over the head with a hammer and leaving Tim with me to help me find my way to the Order. I never wanted to remember, and now I was about to tell someone I just met all about it.

“The first time I had a run in when I was with my master, my eye activated. And I could see them. Every last one. The Akumas’ souls. It’s the only difference between human and monster.” I finished, only making Lavi look back at me. He looked confused, but still interested. But I don’t think he knew what to say to me this time. There was no comment to lighten the mood, or one to distract me and get me insulting Kanda. There was just nothing but a silence between us until he figured out what to say. “Let’s just finish up what we have to do here, and then we can talk about it. Stay the night, whatever you want.” Lavi said. He somehow seemed concerned.

Lavi’s POV

I didn’t know what to say to him. He’s lost his father, and then brought him back to find out he was going to die at his hands, and then involuntarily killed him, and was cursed by the same man. Then only to find out his curse helped him differentiate human and Akuma. Useful, yes. But it still had a story behind it.

He wasn’t born that way like I was. Born with an eye you can’t really use, but one that can still see. He can see and use his eye, but his world looks so different from ours, even though we’re both humans, living in the same world.

I wonder if that was what made me so anxious of him? But here I am, I feel the exact same way as before. After he finished with my injuries, we left the room, and went looking for the innocence. Allen seemed to know his way around pretty well, so he had searched everywhere it could be pretty quickly. But he hadn’t found it, or run into any other Akuma at all. We got back to the hotel pretty late, and we were both tired. So we fell asleep without saying much more than goodnight to each other.

It was fine with me, but I was still so interested in what he had to say about everything. I basically wanted to know exactly what he saw, and how he felt, but I’d never really know.


	8. These Feelings

Allen’s POV

The night before, it actually took me a while to fall asleep. So I’d ended up leaving the bed next to Lavi’s and walk around in the room for a while. For how hyper Lavi was during the day, it was strange to see him sleeping, and quiet. But even with all the questions he asked, it was comfortable to be around him. Though normally when people did that, I was usually uncomfortable around them, but for some reason not with Lavi.

After a while, I got back into the bed, and did fall asleep that time. When I woke up, Lavi was standing right there next to me, getting dressed with his back to me. I looked at him for a moment before blinking. Why was I looking at him? I groaned covering my head with a pillow, and just curling into a ball. I didn’t want to be awake, or more, I didn’t want to know what he was going to ask.

Lavi’s POV

I was getting dressed when I heard a groan from behind me, and pulled down my shirt, turning around to see Allen grabbing a pillow and hiding his head. “No, that’s not okay. We need to go soon. We do need to get on the train to go back to the Order. I already told Komui that there wasn’t any Innocence here, and about the attack.” I said, though, when I had contacted him, I hadn’t told him about his eye. It wasn’t something for me to tell people, but I would have to tell Bookman since he decided not to come. Which is... New?

“And I wanted to ask you something, so get up and get ready.” I added, getting a pillow thrown in my face, and a tired looking Allen glaring at me.

Allen’s POV

Sometimes Lavi really just needed to quiet down. Yesterday was horrible. I got attack, and crushed, and relived my past where I used to live. I’d like to sleep a little longer. But I did listen and got up, moving out of the bed and went into the bathroom, turning on the water.

How long had Lavi been up? He’d taken a shower before me, talking to Komui and gave the report, and all before I was awake. Who exactly made it where he was that way?

I stripped down stepping under the water, but then I heard the door opened, making me look to see Lavi. Why did Lavi just walk into the bathroom?! “What do you think you’re doing in here Lavi?!” I practically yelled, and his hand stopped on the bandana that he was always wearing. I hadn’t actually noticed he hadn’t been wearing it until that moment. It was a bit strange without him wearing it, but he still basically looking the same.

Lavi’s POV

Allen could be really scary when he was angry. I didn’t think he’d ever be able to pull off the angry thing unless it involved Yuu. But here he was... But when he saw my hand, he seemed to calm down a little bit. “Uh. Headband, sorry.” I said, turning and walking right out, shutting the door. We were both guys, so why did it feel like I just walked in on a girl?

I blinked when I was on the other side of the door, putting the headband on quickly, then slipped on my Exorcist coat, and sat on the bed I had been sleeping in.

It was really strange that I was acting that was just because I walked in on Allen. But he seemed to mind it just as much (way more) as I did. It was like I... Like... Him?

Allen’s POV

Did he really have to walk in on me? He could have just waited a few minutes. But I don’t understand why I’m so flustered about it. He’s just another guy, and he’s older than me. So what? That shouldn’t matter. I think coming back to England and talking about everything as messed with my head a little more than I thought it actually had. It would make sense. Right?

He was the only other person that knew about it. Well besides my master. But I never felt like this after he practically drugged me and made me tell him. Okay, maybe not drugged, it was just alcohol. But apparently I can’t hold alcohol.

Lavi’s POV

Allen walked out of the bathroom after a few minutes, by then I was already laying down with my legs hanging off the edge of the bed. When he was in my sight, all he had on was a towel, and his hair was dripping water on him. I know it’s probably really bad, but I ended up staring at him for a while until I realized what I was doing, and redirected my gaze to the ceiling.

It was better to be bored than to get caught looking at him when all he had on was a towel. “Uh, sorry about before, I didn’t think it’d bother you as much as it did.” I apologized, looking at him after a second. He’d gotten his pants on by then, but he was still shirtless. “It’s fine, just knock next time, okay?” He asked, glancing at me. Next time? “Yeah.” Was all I said.

Allen’s POV

I finished getting dressed quickly, and didn’t say anything the entire time after Lavi apologized. I really just needed to get over what had happened. It’s not really that big of a deal, right? It was all in the past, I shouldn’t end up like this with Lavi after telling him.

When I finished, I grabbed my coat and put it on, my boots following right after. “Let’s get going. You can ask me questions on the train. We have just about two days to get back.” I said, walking to the door, seeing Lavi sit up and follow after me with a nod, and the same smile he always had on his face. We walked to the train station, grabbing something to eat on the way because we had about two hours to wait. After that, we were on the train, and went into one of the private rooms. 


	9. The Bed

Lavi’s POV

As soon as the train pulled in, Allen walked right on, and into one of the further private rooms. I wasn’t sure why, but he did. And for once, I was following Allen, and not the other way around. Don’t get me wrong, it was kinda cute in a little kid/lost puppy kinda way.

I walked into the room after Allen, sliding the door shut, and turned around to see Allen staring at me. “What’d you want to know?” Was all he said, still standing, and I just sat down, looking back at him. “I want to know what it’s like to have that eye of yours.” I said simply, and he sat down next to me, unlike how he would normally sit across from me, it didn’t even matter where we were. That’s just what he normally did. “Fine, I’ll try to explain it so you can understand.” Did he just call me stupid?

Allen’s POV

I didn’t know how to explain what I saw. It was just them. Their soul was just trapped. But how can you even explain that? The only reason I was even sitting so close to Lavi was because I didn’t really want to have people hearing me. But honestly, talking about this was only going to make me more tired than I already was.

“Okay, let’s try then.” I said, huffing lightly. “Basically, when an Akuma comes near me, my eye activates and shows me their soul. But only the soul of the person who actually died, and took over the human body.” I said, pausing and shaking my head as I remembered some of the souls, people really. “It’s like they’re trapped, and can’t do anything but suffer and cry.” I said, though it was true. It was like they were being tortured.

Lavi’s POV

Allen didn’t really seem too happy about talking about this, and honestly, he just looked really tired. But that would make sense too. He got the hell beat out of him yesterday. And I questioned him basically right after that, for a while too.

“I think the only thing good about being able to see them is that I know what actually happens to them. They’re already dead, but when an Exorcist destroys them, they don’t have to suffer anymore.” Well, that’s a little strange. But, it probably would be the best part, but in reality, he doesn’t need to fear that everyone he meets on the street is an Akuma.

"Okay. That’s all I really wanted to know. You can stop now.” I said, smiling at him vs. my usual grin. I ruffled his hair a bit, really only making him close his eyes. I had expected him to move away, but he didn’t.

Allen’s POV

I was actually really tired. When I finished telling Lavi what he wanted, he let me stop, and there was a silence between us before Lavi started talking again, actually, I think he was trying to cheer me up or something along the lines.

I was listening to him absent-mindedly, giving small answers, but never really getting into the conversation. I leaned my head against the wall, still listening to Lavi, but he was tell me some kind of story about before I was in the Order. He was telling me about how Komui made some kind of experiment, and slipped it into the others coffee. “And when Lenalee went back into the lab to see them all acting strangely, she already knew that Komui had caused it. He was actually the only one acting like his normal self and...” I was already laughing. I’d seen what happened when she was angry at her brother. I thought it was funny, because I wasn’t actually there, and I wasn’t the one getting hurt.

Lavi’s POV

Well, at least I was getting some type of reaction out of him. It was a lot better than when we were coming here. I talked for about an hour or two, getting small reactions out of him, some comments, and well, mostly laughs. At least he seemed happier now. After about two hours, he stopped responding, and I looked at him. He’d fallen asleep.

I chuckled quietly, shaking my head. I didn’t have anything else to do, so I just sat there. After a while, Allen’s head fell onto my shoulder, making me laugh quietly. At least Komui was smart enough to put us on a train with beds. And when I went looking, he’s pulled another one of his tricks... We were on this train for two days, and there was only one bed...


	10. Surprise, I'm Here

Lavi’s POV

I let out a quiet sigh, shaking my head before looking back at the bed, okay, maybe I had actually been staring at it. But after the whole walking in on Allen situation, I really doubted he’d want to share a bed with me. And hey, I at least know what actually happened to me then, so it really wasn’t the best idea to be sharing a bed with him.

I let out a huff and walked back to the room where Allen had been. Komui would do this.  I swear I’ll get him for this. I moved over to Allen, deciding it was best to just try and wake him up instead of moving him. “Hey, Allen, get up and go sleep in an actual bed.” I said, shaking him lightly to try and wake him up, but all I really got was a groan. Great. “Allen~” I tried again, but he didn’t wake up, again. I shook my head, grabbing him and lifting him up and walking back to the bed. The one bed. It was still better to just move him than have him wake up and start complaining about his body hurting.

At least I tried to wake him up. I put him down on the bed, actually trying not to throw him, plus he was lucky I didn’t have a marker, or I would have written all over his face by now.

Allen’s POV

I wasn’t sure when I fell asleep, or for how long I had been, but when I woke up, I was in a different room, and laying down. Not only that, but it was unusually warm on my back, making me shift and look behind me. It was dark, so when I turned back, I didn’t see until my eyes had adjusted. But I wasn’t expecting to see what I did. Lavi’s face.

It made me jump back, and unfortunately I had been too close to the edge of the bed, and slipped, falling out of it with a thud. Okay, I admit it was probably strange to have been that surprised that Lavi was in the same bed as me, but it was shocking. The last time something like that had happened was when my master had gotten himself, and some woman drunk and then decided it would be fun to get into a bed with me. That wasn’t very pleasant if I say so myself.

I let out a groan, sitting up and looking at Lavi. He had to have been there for a while, I mean, he was asleep, and I’m pretty sure it was late by now. He moved slightly, making me stand up. “What are you doing Allen?” He asked in a low, sleepy voice. Which was strangely attractive... Attractive? NO.

Lavi’s POV

I sat up, looking at Allen after a moment. Okay, he had been asleep for a while, and I was tired, so I got in the bed with him. But it couldn’t have been more than a few hours, and I wasn’t exactly sure why he was out of the bed either.

"What am I doing? No, what are you doing in the same bed as me?” He asked, clearly he wasn’t happy, but he wasn’t yelling, and I liked the way he sounded. Not that I could, or would, ever tell him that. “Oh, Komui only gave us one room, but it’s too small for more than one bed, so we kinda need to share. It’s only for two days, so it shouldn’t really be that bad.” I said simply, getting a huff from Allen. “Fine.” He mumbled, though he wasn’t looking at me.

“Why are you standing up?” I asked, getting him to look at me, though it was to glare at me. “Well, I woke up with your face not inches from mine, and I fell out of the bed.” He said, clearly not happy, but I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped my lips. That little piece of information was probably better than having gotten to see his face written all over.

Allen’ POV

He thought this was funny, and I wanted to smother him where he was because of it. “This isn’t funny!” I yelled, which wasn’t the best thing I could have done at night, but still. “Alright, alright. I’m sorry, it’s not funny.” He said, though I didn’t believe him, especially not with that grin plastered to his face. “I don’t exactly like you right now.” I said, moving back onto the bed, but practically shoving him the opposite way.

"Face that way, I don’t want to wake up again and see you centimeters away from me.” I said, only getting an eye roll from him. “I was facing this way to begin with. Don’t make such a big deal of it.” He said, but laid down, facing away from me, and I did the same. Though, I didn’t mind the warmth that he had, I wasn’t going to tell him that. And I wasn’t planning on ever telling him something like that.


	11. Hiding

Lavi's POV

After spending the two days on the train with Allen, he'd gotten more comfortable with the fact that I wasn't willing to sleep on the floor, and neither was he. Big surprise. So, we did sleep together, and not like the way you're probably thinking. It was actually innocent, except for what was going through my mind. Which, obviously, wouldn't be the best thing to be going and telling Allen, who knew how he would react, but it was definitely involve yelling, and probably a few thing Allen just didn't do.

Though, I had woken up with him practically snuggling into me; his entire body was practically pressed into me, his hands/arms were practically just resting against my abdomen, and his head was buried into my chest and shirt. Honestly, I hadn't realized that he was the much shorter than me, but he also could have been curled up, I wasn't actually willing to move and check. I was obviously pretty damn comfortable with how we were, but I also knew- or figured out how I felt about him. There was a good chance that he wasn't exactly feeling the same as me, but he wasn't repulsed by me, which means I was hiding it pretty well.

I fell back asleep at some point, but even when I had woken up again, he still hadn't moved, but I wasn't one to really be able to just stay in bed for a long time, and honestly, I didn't want Allen to wake up in this position, and start his yelling and freaking out again.

Allen's POV

While I was sleeping, I was moving more than I usually did, but I was cold. And at some point, I had stopped, and it was suddenly, just, extremely warm, but somehow very comfortable. I'd woken up a few times that night, but at some point, when I woke up, Lavi was just there. I jumped slightly, but didn't get off the bed, or do much else. He hadn't reacted, so I assumed he was still asleep, and just left it. If I moved, and woke him up, there was a chance that I'd end up in some really strange position, and have to explain what was going on, or more, what I was doing.

It took me awhile to actually get over the fact of the position I, or he had put us in; it was much harder than I had expected, my face felt like it was in flames, and my chest was hurting. That might be the best way to explain it. Or only way I really could. It was just strange to me. I mean, it was Lavi...

I didn't understand what was wrong with me, or maybe I did, and I just didn't want to feel that way. I wasn't even sure anymore. But by the time I woke up again, it was day, and I hadn't woken up again, and I actually felt better than before, but Lavi wasn't there.

Lavi's POV

Okay, maybe I'm over reacting, or over thinking it, but ever since we got back to the Order Allen's been avoiding me, entirely. I haven't seen him at all, not even in the dining hall, which is abnormal. And every time I asked anyone if they had seen Allen, they normally always said that he just left. Which, somehow only seemed to irritate me, and yes, as petty as it is, my reason was because of how I felt toward him.

I know very well that I shouldn't even be having these feelings at all, I'm the next Bookman, we aren't supposed to have these feelings, but I couldn't stop myself. And if the old panda ever found out, I'm sure he'd try to kill me. Now, there's just one person I haven't asked, Yuu. No, he didn't like Allen, at all, but he didn't particularly like me either, so it should be fine, right? I'm not going to die doing this.

"Yuu~! Have you seen Allen?" Within seconds, I had a sword at my throat, and Kanda was clearly glaring at me. "Call me that again, and I'll kill you." Wow, you really do say that EVERY TIME. But I'm still not dead, why, because there aren't that many Exorcists. "Okay, okay. But have you seen Allen??" He just che'd at me and put his sword away, which was when I relaxed.

"He was just in the dining hall eating, other than that, I don't know where he is, nor do I give a damn." He said before walking away from me, only to end up being stopped by Lenalee.

Allen's POV

The thought of seeing Lavi after our mission seemed to terrify me. From everything that I had told him, to everything that had happened, just the thought of him embarrassed me.

For one, I'd told him things I'd never planned on telling anyone, and it felt natural for me to tell him. Not only that, but it was overly embarrassing for him to walk in on me while I was in the shower, for him to see me changing, even if I was only half naked, to find out he'd carried me to bed, and then wake up to see him right there, and a second time to be snuggling into his chest.

I was pretty much ashamed of myself for letting it get to me so much, and I'm pretty sure Lavi didn't even care that it had happened. So what did I do? I hid in my room when I had the chance, and avoided him. No, I didn't think that it was right of me, but I'd rather not be acting like some kind of freak around him because of it.

I'd only been in my room for a few minutes before someone was knocking on my door. I groaned quietly to myself as I moved over to the door, opening it slowly to see the one and only Lavi. I instantaneously started to shut the door, only to have him stop it, too easily if I may say so myself. It was unfair that his size easily gave him more strength than I had, and I also didn't particularly like that he didn't seem to even be trying.

He started pushing on the door, forcing me backward as he did, and forced his way into my room, shutting the door before I even had a chance to think about escaping, much less do so. He really didn't look happy at all, and that's not something that was normal for Lavi.


	12. Trapped

Lavi's POV

Allen just tried to shut the door on me, and I wasn't really all that happy about it. He was making it so obvious that he was trying to avoid me, even looking at me seemed to be hard for him. It really just seemed to get to me, even though before Bookman "trained" me not to feel, I had similar feelings to this. I would have liked to not reminisce the past.

"Care to tell me why you tried to shut the door in my face? Or why you've been avoiding me?" I asked him, while only seemed to make him nervous, and he began to fidget; moving his weight around, messing with his hands, and what he was wearing. I shook me head, though, I don't think he was paying enough attention to actually notice that I had.

"Well, you see... The mission we went on was a bit..." He didn't even finish his sentence. But I could tell what he was thinking. "Okay, that makes sense, but it's not like it's that big a deal. It was a shower, and you had to sleep in the same bed as me." I said, rather matter-of-factly, but just thinking about it seemed to lift my mood. Allen still hadn't known that I harbored feelings for him.

Allen's POV

I could tell that Lavi wasn't really all that happy. I knew he wouldn't be, I'd just tried to shut him out. But it was a bit strange to see him this way. Then entire time I'd been here and been around him, I haven't seen him do much more than smile and mess around, and reading books obsessively. It was like he was disappointed.

I didn't even know what I was supposed to tell him, but what he said next was completely right about why I had been avoiding him. "Well, that is why I was avoiding you..." I came so close to adding a but to that sentence, and I'm glad that I didn't, but unfortunately for me, Lavi is more perceptive than most, kind of like Master Cross... "What else? You can't just avoid me for that type of reason. And if we were put on another mission together, you wouldn't be able to avoid me then." Lavi said, which he was entirely right about.

It was irritating me that he was just questioning me so much. Couldn't he just leave it alone? "Alright... But can't we just talk about it later?" I asked, but all he did was shake his head and started walking toward me slowly, and I started backing away from him. Right into a wall. Great. Now I was both literally, and metaphorically backed into a wall.

Lavi's POV

He wants to talk about it later, when we could talk about it right now? We're both right here, in his room, that's about as private as it gets. "No, I want to talk about it right now. It's obviously effecting you. Now you can start or I can." I said, just watching him. I was close enough that he couldn't really escape, but I felt like trapping him even more, though I didn't do it. But I did end up sighing when he wasn't talking, but right when I did, he started to talk, quietly.


	13. The Dreaded Mission

Allen's POV

I know it's probably weird that the fact that Lavi had cornered me in my room and then kissed me, hadn't really made me angry at him, really at all. Yeah, there was definitely the phase of shock. And now, well, I'm pretty much just trying to find any logical reason for him to have done that. But what did piss me off was the fact that he kissed me, and then he told me that I had a mission with Kanda; and unfortunately, that would be today.

I've already gone to Komui, had to deal with being sat right next to him in the office that apparently, Komui never left. And now I have to deal with Kanda for however long this mission would take. Why couldn't I have just gone on a mission with Lavi, or Lenalee? Really, anyone else would have been great; or at least send someone else with us so that it's not just us.

Lavi's POV

I bet Allen and Kanda are having just a great time having to be together and work together. I can just imagine them now, and when they run into an akuma, maybe more... Kanda's just going to be telling Allen not to get killed, though he won't help that in any way. He never really has, well, unless it was Lenalee, and he knows that if anything happens to her, Komui will probably kill him on sight.

That was one thing that was on my mind, but the other was what Allen had actually thought about me kissing him. I know that I had cut him off to really keep him from saying anything, but I was still curious. Did he like it? Or was he disgusted by it? I honestly doubted the latter, but I still have no idea if he had liked it. It was making me anxious to find out. I just wanted to ask him, and have him tell me. That should at least be reasonable. Right?

Allen's POV

Now, just because Kanda was near me didn't mean that I couldn't think of anything else. But it did mean that it was pretty hard to think about anything else, or really do anything else. But I had noticed that Kanda was rude to just about anyone. Me, Lavi, Lenalee, the Finders. I just really didn't understand why he was like that though. His life couldn't have been any worse than anyone else's.

After thinking about Kanda for a bit, my thoughts did drift back to the Order, and well, Lavi. I still had no idea what to think about him kissing me. The sad part of all of that was that I had never really done anything like it. That was even my first kiss. I'm pretty positive that Lavi had much more experience than I had.

I had been with Cross most of my life... That meant I had to earn money so that I could just survive, but he always ended up taking it and spending it on alcohol... And woman. It was just annoying having to take care of him and myself at the same time.

But back to Lavi. Why hadn't I pushed him away when I figured out what was happening? I guess I "tried" but I really wouldn't consider what I did trying. I was embarrassed, and I had waiting a few moments before moving.

Kanda's POV

The moiyashi (bean sprout) had the oddest look on his face. Well, more than one look. It had gone from one to another in just a few minutes maybe? From anger in the beginning, to a look a disgust, to confusion maybe? But that wasn't the only thing in his last expression. There was more, I just wasn't paying enough attention to him to be able to decide what they were.

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked, and I had realized that it came out rudely, and mainly bitter. But it's not like I could help, nor did I want to. He really just ticked me off. From the first time we had met he was just ticking me off. Everything he did. He talked to everyone, and he ate so much everyday. And most off all, he was pretty much constantly hanging around the damn rabbit. How could that not tick you off? "What do you mean Bakanda?" Was what he replied. When the hell had he come up with that?! Was he trying to pick a fight with me?! "I mean you're making a damn stupid face!" Yeah, I was just getting angrier with him, I should have just not talked to him at all. Damn.

Allen's POV

There was definitely something wrong with Kanda today. I mean, it seemed like he had cared what was going on inside of my head, but I severely doubt that that's the case honestly.

"And what's wrong with my face?" I asked, returning the bitterness, not that I really had to try and be bitter with him though. It was pretty natural for me. He took a few, obviously angered, breaths before speaking to me again. I found it pretty amusing to watch him try to just talk to me. "I mean, that you're making too many expressions." He said, simply glaring at me. I hadn't thought that I was changing my expressions, but then again, I hadn't been paying that much attention. I mean, Lavi hadn't said anything if I was.

"I'm just thinking. Is that a problem? Bakanda..." I said, although I had ended mumbling the last piece. And I figured he had heard me, seeing as now his glare had more hate filling it. It was practically radiating off of him. "Fine, let me make this simply for you, moiyashi, what the hell were you thinking about?" He asked, his words laced with vemon. I think he intimidated me, seeing as I just told him.

Kanda's POV

"I-was-thinking-about-what-Lavi-did." That was probably the fastest I had gotten a reply from the idiot yet. And well, it took me a moment becuase the words he had spoken were a bit mashed up. But after I figured it out, I'm sure that I had looked just as confused as he had a few minutes ago. "And what exactly did Lavi do?" I asked, though I had expected it was something he probably shouldn't have done. I'd known Lavi longer than most people, I think it was just me and Lenalee that had known him the longest.

But I for one knew that he hit on just about everyone. No, I don't know if he was just screwing around, or if he was serious, but he does it. "Well..." Allen had started though he hadn't really finished, and if he did, I hadn't heard it. But I did see that his face a changed shades, and he wasn't looking at me anymore. So Lavi had done something more than I had seen, but it couldn't have been that bad. At least, I hope not.

"He kissed me." He mumbled, and I could hardly even hear a damn word he had said. I had to think it over and over again. I blinked, looking at him. I was pretty stunned. I knew that they had gone on a mission, but I hadn't expected Lavi to kiss him. Damn rabbit better not have just done it to screw around, it was pretty annoying to have to hear all about what he did all the time.

"So you kissed huh? Good luck with that." Was all I replied, which had gotten his attention, and now he was even more confused than before.


	14. His Past

Allen's POV

At least this time Komui actually had it to where we each had a different bed instead of having to share one. With Lavi, it was different I suppose, but I wouldn't even be able to deal with sharing a bed with Kanda. Really, I can hardly stand being near him.

Even if he was acting a bit strange at first, and well, I don't think he's entirely dropped the situation between me and Lavi; however, I can't exactly figure out what he's so hooked on. The fact that it's Lavi going around kissing the same gender, or that he kissed me. I can't exactly say that I know much about either of them. But somehow, Kanda seemed jealous maybe? It was a little weird seeing him react in any other way other than anger, so I'm not exactly sure how to react, and I highly doubt he knows either.

Kanda's POV

It's not strange that Lavi's hitting on someone, but that fact that he's going after someone that just joined the Order is probably a bad thing. I don't even know what to make of the situation, but it seems different than what he's done with others. I will admit to myself that Allen isn't that bad, and the two of them won't make that odd of a pairing, but I don't think either of them realize just how much both women, and men, have been talking about the two of them.

It's going to be pretty damn amusing to watch them figure out just how much people are going to hate the fact that they seem to like each other, and not the others. So far, it seems that the two of them don't even know just how many people there will be to deal with, and if they have, that no one is going to try and help. It's a death wish.

Allen's POV

"Do you even know what you're getting yourself into?" Came Kanda's voice. It was pretty weird, we had gone a long time without speaking a word to each other, so hearing his voice made me jump a bit.

Kanda might just end up being as terrifing as master Cross, in his own way.

"What do you mean? I do know how to fight Akuma. I think I know what I've done." I replied only to see Kanda looking at me like I was the biggest idiot he had ever met. It really just irritated me that he thought he could treat anyone how he saw fit, even someone he hardly even knew. "What?!" After I yelled, his look turned to one of a glare, and if looks could kill, I think anyone he'd met would be dead right now, including me. "Not that you damn fool. Lavi." He said before standing and walking out of the room, and I could see a few people coming from their own rooms looking down toward us in confusion. But that didn't matter to me. I wanted to know what he meant about Lavi.

I slowly started to figure it out, or at least I thought I was. I really didn't know anything about Lavi. I didn't know his last name, or where he had come from, I did know his agem but that wasn't much. There was so much more that I didn't know, and it just made me wonder. He knew so much more about me than I had intended...


	15. A Strange Relationship

Kanda's POV

Never before has Komui dared to lie to me, and just send me on a mission that didn't even involve innocence in the slightest. If it had been an assumption, fine. But there were maybe five or six akuma, and all level one. And that damned Allen seemed so useless... Hardly able to take out two of them by the time I had started on the last. This is why I had working missions with other people. Pisses me off.

"Hey, Kanda, what'd you mean on the train?" Allen had spoken up after a while of basically just walking off on his own and looking around after the fight. I don't know what he was doing and I don't care, but I have a feeling he was eating. Again. But at least I didn't have to be around him all the time. "What are you talking about?" I asked, hardly even glancing over my shoulder before I had seen his noticeable white hair just slightly showing from underneath the hood of the coat. "Well you said some things about Lavi, and I was wondering what you meant. That's all." He was acting like an idiot. Why was I constantly surrounded by idiots?

Allen's POV

"All I even said was good luck. What's there to wonder about?" It was pretty strange being able to talk to Kanda without fighting or yelling, but who knows how long that will actually last. "Well, for starters, why'd you say good luck?" I guess it's not the only thing he said, but it was definitely the one the make you really question what it could even mean. I just figure it means there's something that he's hiding? I don't really know anyone very well.

"There's nothing really special about it. It's just strange that Lavi kissed you. Don't you think?" By then, I had started walking next to Kanda and he glanced at me, I don't even know why he had. "It is. That's why I was thinking about it so much on the train. I don't know why he did it." And I hadn't really stopped thinking about it since it happened. Would anyone just be able to ignore that something like that happened? Someone just out of the blue kisses you. What're you supposed to think about that? No one here has known me for longer than a few weeks. And I mean just a few. Maybe a bit more than a month.

"Thinking about it won't help you. You'll never know what that idiot's thinking about." For once, when Kanda was insulting someone, he wasn't so rude about it; or at least he didn't sound pissed off.

Kanda's POV

It was hard to think that Lavi could already be so interested in this shorty. Well, maybe not all that strange. I think everyone is just interested in him, he's pretty damn weird looking, and even his actions for how old he is are strange.

"What do you mean? You won't understand what he's thinking? People that have known him for a while should be able to tell right?" He asked, and honestly it seemed like one of the stupidest things a person could ask; but he also hadn't been here as long as Leenalee and me.

"You might have to know him for years, and you still won't understand him. Personally, he's just an idiot." I replied, glancing at Allen who seemed to be staring at me, which irritated me and I glared at him, finally, he looked away. Who would have thought a simple kiss could get this idiot so hung up over someone. He has better things to be worry about, one of them being to actually get stronger. "He's not actually an idiot, it's just his personality." Allen said, causing me to look at him as if he just said something along the lines of the Earl being a friend. "He's pretty damn stupid. You're just to damn attached to the fool." I replied, looking forward with a "Che."

Allen's POV

After he finished speaking, my shoulders fell a bit, and I was done with the conversation that we were having. I just wanted him to explain what he meant and it turned out entirely different. "Alright, alright. But can we just talk about what you meant on the train?" I asked, and he didn't even look at me. Not that it was surprising though. I fully expected him to do something along the lines. "I meant exactly what I said. Good luck means good luck. You're dealing with Lavi now, and there's nothing you can do about it. Have fun." Was what he said, rather harshly before speeding up and walking away from me. Now he was done with this conversation, not surprisingly. He was quick to anger no matter who it was; well, I hadn't seen it happen with Leenalee yet... I guessed that he was going back to his room so that I wouldn't bother him anymore, but that also meant that I could just do whatever I wanted. So I went exploring a bit before returning... When it started getting darker. It wasn't long before we returned to The Order, empty handed, and we hadn't even been attacked. So unlike my mission with Lavi.


	16. The Confusion

Lavi's POV

After Allen and Kanda returned, it was a bit strange to watch. I could have sworn that before, the two absolutely hated each other. Which wasn't really a surprise. Kanda nearly killed Allen the first time they met, and Allen was clearly defying Kanda any way he could find... That is until now...

The two were sitting. Like civilized people. That got along with each other seemingly well. Allen eating his pile, literally a pile, of food rather quickly. Normal. Kanda eating his soba noodles like always. The only thing he ever ate. The only difference being that Allen would usually sit with Lenalee and me, and Kanda always preferred eating alone; unless Lenalee forced him to eat with her, and therefore, us. But nothing like that was happening. They seemed to be having an actual conversation with each other without fighting, threatening, and yelling at each other. I think even I was lucky if Kanda was civil with me, but somehow Allen had gotten in. Damn that was some kind of luck he had there.

Allen's POV

I've found that with a bit of work, you can at least talk to Kanda. Of course, for some reason I found myself taking to him about Lavi. It was odd that I found it so easy to talk to him after how much I seemed to dislike him.

And honestly, I don't exactly know why or how, but I could feel that we were somehow relating to each other through Lavi. Kanda simply looked up and then back down again, continuing to eat his soba noodles. He had almost finished, but so had I. The only thing I had noticed a difference from all the other times he had looked up was that he had a smile on his face... Or maybe it was more of a smirk... So I wanted to see why, and looked in the general direction that Kanda had to see Lavi. He sat down with Lenalee and began eating, but kept looking toward us, and I felt myself become a bit flustered.

"Like I said time and time again. Lavi might be messing with you or maybe not. That's just how he is. Ask him about it to get your answer. Find out. It's not that hard, beansprout." Kanda said, earning a sigh of irritation from me.

"Can you lay off the nickname Kanda? We both know that you know exactly what my name is," I said looking at him, having finished my food. "Uh... Can we go somewhere else to talk about this?" I paused, looking back at Lavi, catching his gaze and looking back at Kanda quickly. "Please?"

He simply looked back at me and nodded, a chuckle falling from his lips. Wow. That was a first, and not to be strange, but it was nice to see him acting a bit more normally. "Sure. Lavi making you nervous?" He asked smirking at me. Damn... Was I that easy to read?

"I just don't want to feel his eyes on us anymore... It's a bit strange..." I replied before starting to grab everything that Jerry had used to give me my food. I looked at Kanda to see him coming back, and surprisingly, grabbing some of the bowls and such."I felt it too." Was all he said before walking away, having me follow after him rather quickly.

Kanda' s POV

Allen was acting more and more nervous as Lavi had come in to eat. I, of course, had found it rather amusing. As we walked out of the dining hall, I saw him walk up next to me, and again, that damned hood went back onto his head.

"Where do you want to finish our conversation? Because we're not going back to my room," I said, looking at him, surprisingly making eye contact with him. Which I hardly ever did. He simply nodded at my request, buy I could tell that he wanted to pry further, but wouldn't. So different from Lavi. This idiot couldn't even realize he was falling for that damn rabbit.

"I guess my room would be fine. As long as Lavi won't be able to hear us talking, anywhere is fine with me." He said rather quietly. I was fine with it, until I saw him look back behind us. A bushel of red moved behind the nearest wall or door way to try in hide. Too bad, now I was in the mood to make him suffer a bit. Of course, that didn't exclude Allen. A grin fell onto my lips before I quickly hid it so the silver haired male wouldn't see it. This was going to be my fun for the day.

"Then I guess it's your room. It's not like someone is just going to walk in right," I said, looking at Allen the same way I always would. I had raised my voice a bit, but not so that it was noticeable I had. I just wanted my voice to carry to Lavi's ears. Hopefully Allen would be speaking loud enough for Lavi to hear him; depending on what he said."Ah... Sure. That's the easiest right? It's harder to get caught." He said, a small smile playing on his lips. I had definitely hoped Lavi heard that, it would be amazing torment if he had.

Lavi's POV

Allen and Kanda?! What were they up to? They had been hanging out a bit ever since they had gotten back from that mission of theirs. I know that they had come back empty handed and everything, but if that was making Allen upset, he should have come to me... Right? Or maybe something had happened on the mission between them... No way right? I mean, Kanda isn't like that. And he didn't like him in the beginning. Maybe that's what changed..? No no no no! I've got to be over thinking this. There's no way Allen had feelings for Kanda right? 

But they were going to his room so they wouldn't be caught? Caught doing what? And that smile Allen gave Kanda. It looked a bit shy; kind of like how he looked at me after I had kissed him. Oh god this couldn't be happening. Good thing I had decided to follow them after all.

Allen's POV

We walked up to my door and I opened it up, stepping back and letting Kanda go in first. He got the hint when I looked at him and smiled, he simply nodded at me, and walked it with a light thanks. I followed in after him and shut the door. He sat in the chair at my desk and I sat on my bed lightly. He turned and looked at me, seeming to be waiting for me to speak first. So I did, it's not like I had nothing to say or ask him.

"Lavi has a reputation doesn't he?" I asked, looking back at the door before I began to take off my exorcist jacket and folded it, placing it at the bottom of my bed. I looked back at him expectantly.

"He does. The girls still like him, and guys too. Obviously, seeing as you're one of the few." He answered rather simply. But I wanted him to elaborate."And," I promoted."And nothing really. He's intelligent, and he's handsome. Most find him fun and exciting. But he's never really had any long relationships." He answered. It was a bit weird hearing him not make any insults toward Lavi. But he kind of ended that quickly.

"The idiot even came on to Lenalee. You can imagine how that went over with Komui." He added, looking at me and raising his brow at me. But other than that his expression didn't change much.  
"Ah..." Was all I really could manage before I found something else to say. "You can take that off. It gets a bit hot in here sometimes," I added, surprised to see that he was taking me up on the offer and began to slowly take it off. For some reason I felt I should look away so I did. When I glanced back, he had it off and lightly hanging on the back of the chair. I had to admit this, to myself, but he looked better without it. You could actually see his shape.

"You can take that off if you want. You're the one who said it gets hot. Maybe because you wear dress clothes." He said, lightly pointing his finger at my clothes. He was right though. So I decided to take off my bow tie and unbotton two bottons and be done.

"That was actually a better idea," I said quietly giving him a light smile to see him standing up. Then came a knock on my door.

Kanda' s POV

I figured Lavi would knock on the door at some time. It just took him a while. Seeing as I was standing already, I decided to answer it. Though the first thing that I heard was Allen's complaint.  
"You shouldn't have to do that. It's my room and you're a guest in it." He said, again with his manners. He began to stand up, but I stopped him, "accidentally" getting another of his buttons undone.

"I'm already up. It's not that big a deal, let me do it," I said blandly, walking over to the door and opening it. There stood Lavi, looking at me, shock spread over his face as he saw me without my beloved jacket. I never took it off near others. Unless I planned something. He quickly changed his expression to one of his famous smiles.

"Allen's here right? Can I come in? Let's make it a group instead of a pair." He said, and I opened the door more so that Allen was visible, but not his front.

"Come on in." He said politely from behind me, and I heard him move off of the bed. Apparently, so did Lavi. Then Allen was behind me, probably smiling. Though I doubt Lavi could see how he was dressed.

"Thanks." He said, still smiling before walking in, and I shut the door. Oh what fun. Then I was smirking to myself before I stopped to turn around and walked away. I was honestly surprised to see how close Allen had gotten to me, but he hadn't realized how much the dress shirt he was wearing showed off . Then I walked away from him, seeing Lavi had taken my previous spot, I simply took the edge of Allen's bed, leaving plenty of room for him. He had followed behind me, still out of Lavi's veiw, until he sat next to me that is. However, Lavi's reaction wasn't immediate, seeing as his eyes were on me for a bit. But when they landed on Allen. Well...

A/N: I apologize for this late update. I've been "busy." I have, with school and all, but I've been a bit caught up in some personal business. Mainly the fact that I'm in my first serious relationship. But I promise I'll start trying to update mote frequently. Just hold me to my word.


	17. Plan in Action

Lavi's POV

As soon as my eyes landed on Allen... Well, I couldn't really explain how I felt about it. Yeah, it was pretty attractive just seeing how the way he was dressed was in a relaxed way. He looked comfortable, and since he and Kanda had returned, he hadn't seemed all that comfortable. But on the other hand, I walked in on this. Just what were they doing before I gained the confidence to knock on the door? Allen, without his cute little bow tie, turned into someone who looked like they were undressing just moments ago. And Kanda, without his exorcist jacket. He never took that thing off around other people.

Was he interested in Allen? No no no, that can't be it... Lenalee was a more likely target for his affection; well, more like the only. He only ever listened to her, and only her. But that might just be it, he might only listen to her, not have feelings for her, but it seemed likely.

All I could do was stare at Allen, and he noticed pretty quickly, and gave me a confused look. Just that made me look over at Kanda who had decided to lean back on his hands, flashing me a smirk. He knew this was making me jealous, didn't he. I glanced back at Allen to see him looking between the two of us, just confused. I assumed he had seen Kanda smirk at me. It just irked me, anf before I knew it, I was tightly cluching the back of the chair, my leg bouncing irritability.

Allen's POV

Lavi and Kanda just kept exchanging glances with each other. Kanda, for once, was the one who seemed amused; and Lavi just sat there almost expressionless. Or more, I just couldn't tell what he was thinking or feeling. I had been avoiding him, but now he was in my room.

Lavi kept glancing at me, I could just feel his eyes on me. I didn't know why, and I was having problems figuring it out. So I looked at Kanda, but he seemed to just be focused on Lavi. I was just so confused, clearly something was going on between the two, and they seemed to be entirely focused on each other...

Kanda's POV

Lavi was finally just focused on me, glaring at me. I'm sure he had fallen for what I had planned out. He was jealous and there's no way that he could refuse the fact. Allen wasn't stupid, he should know that there's something going on. "What's the matter, Lavi? You seem a bit bothered." I said, directing a smirk his way and looking over to Allen. I was about to make this even more interesting. For me at least. Allen caught my glance and I just stared at him, and he stared back. Clearly he was a bit confused. And I'm sure that Lavi was blowing a fuse right about now. "Ah. I should tell you shouldn't I." I mumbled to Allen, getting him to tilt his head and raise a brow. I admit, he was a bit cute. But not my taste.

Allen's POV

Now I was definitely confused. What could Kanda possibly have to tell me? "Huh?" I said, glancing back toward Lavi, but when I looked back Kanda was right up near me. In fact, right next to my ear with his lips, and I could hear him breathing. I tried to move away from him, shocked, clearly, but his hand was on my back and stopped me. The next thing that I felt was he other hand at my chest. Wait... Why could I feel the heat of his hand so well?!? "Your shirt's a bit undone." He whispered, and I felt my face flush, then I felt him undone a botton. Wait, wait! How many were undone! I moved to see my shirt, but Kanda stopped me, well, more like his shoulder did. It was in the way, and my jaw landed right on his shoulder. "W-wait. Kanda!" I said, expecting my voice to be louder than it was, but it just came out as a whisper. What the hell is he doing?! He knows I like Lavi!

Lavi's POV

I was stunned. I didn't know what to do, so I just sat there in shock, wide eyed. What were they doing? Continuing from before?! I know I hadn't asked Allen to date me or anything like it, but I never expected him to do this! With Kanda as well! Kanda was nearly on top of Allen at this point, and Allen wasn't doing anything to stop him either... What the fuck. Kanda just sat there calmly undoing Allen's dress shirt until he reached the portion that was tucked in his pants, pulling it out. I clearly saw Allen jump at this, and that's when I noticed that his face was almost entirely flushed a brilliant pink. I couldn't believe how angry I was getting. I can't recall ever feeling this way. Not in my entire life. While I was busy thinking about that, what caught my attention was Kanda pushing Allen onto his back, exposing his chest clearly. And there they sat. Kanda hovering over Allen's body, on foot holding him up while the other was firmly planted between his legs. One of Allen's wrists held down by his hand, the other right next to his head, as Kanda's hair fell messily over his shoulder and hung near Allen.

Allen's POV

I didn't even know what was happening anymore. My mind was drawing a blank, and I felt fuzzy. Yes, My master was a pervert but even when he was at his drunkest, I never experienced this. But then again, I always had the excuse to leave to get the money to pay for the booze he drank along with his "female friends." But now there was no excuse to get out of this, I couldn't even find the words to say. It took me a while to even process that Kanda had moved our position so that I was under him. And when I had, I moved my hand to his chest and tried to push him off, though he just grabbed my wrist and pinned it down. Wait, when did he grab my other wrist! "H-hey. This isn't funny Kanda." I said, wide-eyed, trying to hide my face, though I had no way to do it so I ended up just looking away from him. Why wasn't Lavi doing anything? I just don't even understand what's happening anymore. The thing that pulled me out of my thoughts was feeling Kanda's lips on my neck before I felt him bite into my skin. I involuntarily let out a groan. That's when I heard the chair move across the old stone floor.


	18. Jealousy

Lavi's POV

Allen's groan is was brought me back from my shock, causing me to stand up, making the chair move forward as I stood. I was having mixed feelings about this. Kanda was attacking Allen, which was making me angry. But then, at the same time, Allen was extremely attractive when he was this flustered. But it was Kanda that was doing it.

I walked over to the bed, pulling Kanda up by the shoulder off of Allen. I closed my eye, and smiled at him, though I doubt that helped distract him from the dark aura around me. "It would be great if you would refrain from doing this while I'm in the room." I spoke, easily telling that Kanda was glaring daggers at me, but what got me to open my eyes was the squeak that came from Allen.

Allen's POV

Relief flooded my body as Lavi removed Kanda from me, but it didn't last long. Just a few moments after, Kanda placed his hand down, right on my groin, causing me to make the worst noise. He turned to look at me, as did Lavi, but that only caused him to apply more pressure.

I'm not quite sure what happened, or how the two looked, all I know is that I invountarily threw my head back, as much back arched. "O-off." I groaned out, grabbing Kanda's wrist as I tried to move him, my body calming down. Suddenly all of he weight was gone, even off of my bed, causing me to let out a breath. I moved back quickly, hiding my face from the two in my room. I could feel the heat coming from me face.

"Could you two please leave?" I mumbled out, assuming that they could barely hear me. I paid no attention to the fighting and yelling of the two, my hand finding it's way to my neck where Kanda had bitten me. I heard the door shut, and turned around, getting ready to leave my bed as my face ran into someone's chest. I thought that they had both left...

Kanda's POV

I didn't know what my actions were going to do to their relationship, but that wasn't my problem. All I really cared about was that this was the most amusement I had experienced in months. Lavi was probably plotting some way to kill me, though he knows that I've been an exorcist longer than him, and that I had always been stronger. But he didn't know exactly what level I was at. Hell, even Komui didn't know, just Hevlaska and I knew, and I wouldn't let her tell anyone about it.

My job was to exterminate as many Akuma as possible, not deal with everyone's bullshit. And that's the way I plan for it to stay. At least until I find her...

Lavi's POV

I assume Allen was going to lock the door because of what Kanda had done, though, he actually ran into me. He went to move away from me, but I stopped him, capturing him in my arms, and I just held onto him. I coudn't believe how jealous I had gotten over Allen. I know that I liked him, and that wasn't even supposed to happen. Ever. I mean really, I'm going to be the next Bookman. My job is just to record history, and to not get involved. Just watch.

"Are you alright? You seemed really off somehow." I mumbled into his ear. He started to try and push me away without saying a word, but I just tightened my grip on him. Eventually he gave in, but still said nothing. He sat there on his knees, just letting his arms rest beside him, his head resting on my chest. We just sat there in silence for some time before he moved. And when he did, he brought his hands up, and grabbed the back of my shirt, moving in closer to me, slightly pulling me and forcing me to move onto the bed a bit.

"Why didn't you stop him sooner?" He mumbled to me, well, more like whispered. I could hardly even catch what he said to me.

Allen's POV

I felt Lavi's body tense up, making me pull back a bit to look at him, but he had his eye closed, and looked disgusted, maybe? He pushed me back into his chest lightly, and hugged me tighter, letting out a sigh.

"I'm sorry Allen. I was completely shocked. I didn't know what to do. No... I did. I just couldn't bring myself to move." He said, and I heard him clearly, but there was something about his voice that I couldn't quite place. "You didn't seem really bothered by him touching you, and I guess I was just confused." He added, almost inaudible , even if he was right next to me. But I think I figured out what he was feeling. It was fear. But what was he fearing?

Lavi's POV

I really just had no idea of what I should tell him. I just know that when I saw it, I couldn't force myself to move and help him. I suppose I just wanted to see what he would do, or if he would even try to remove Kanda from himself.

"I'm honestly sorry Allen. I didn't mean to let him do what he was." I said with a small huff. I was pretty disappointed in myself for letting it happen. I moved further onto the bed, pushing Allen back until he fell over, and I just stopped myself from landing on him. I pushed myself up, looking down at him, a small smile crossing my lips as I saw the shocked look he had.

"I guess it might be a bit late but, Allen, would you like to be my boyfriend?" I asked, and he just stopped moving entirely, looking up at me with the most unreadable face I had ever seen him wear. He seemed to simply be processing what I had said to him. "Really now Lavi, you ask now of all times." He said, in what I was sure was a rhetorical question. A small smile spread across his lips, and he let out a small laugh. "Of course I would, idiot." He said, and I nearly instantly pretended that his words had hurt me. "I'm very offended that you insulted my intelligence." I mocked.

Allen's POV

"But I'm glad." He mumbled. I assumed that he was talking to himself, but also me. He started to move, and landed on his side next to me, as I was laying on my back. I looked over him, and he was looking past me, at something in the room. "I've never really seen you reading." He said quietly, and I looked over to my desk at the small collection of books.

"Hey now, don't insult me." I said with a small groan. "I wasn't. I was only saying. But you do have a nice collection. They're fun to read." He said, and I looked back at him, his bright green eye was already on me, a smile playing at his lips. "I'm glad." He repeated what he had said earlier, but I didn't know what he was talking about. And it confused me a bit, but I said nothing about it.

We just looked at each other a bit, and soon I had realized he had closed his eye. Not wanting to seem overly creepy, or really creepy at all, I looked away, turning onto my side. It wasn't really all that long before I had fallen asleep.


	19. Allen Died

Lavi's POV

It's been a week since Allen went missing... Well, maybe not missing, but I'd rather think that than what everyone else is trying to drill into my head. Yes, I am actually capable of looking at the situation, and intelligent enough to realize that he is most likely dead.

The amount of blood that we had found was enough to bring someone to death; considering that the blood would have sunk into the ground. That wasn't the only thing however, Tim had recorded everything up until the point that he had said to find us. In fact, there was enough footage for us to have seen Tyki's hand go through Allen's chest. But that was really it. And if Allen had survived, then he would have contacted the Order already.

I'm not even sure what has been keeping me believe that he is alive. Maybe I'm just in denial and need to face facts. Not only that, but everyone was constantly worrying about me, and trying to distract me. We'd told them about our relationship a few months ago. Seven I believe. So, clearly, people were taking pity on me, and it was beginning to annoy me. The only person who didn't, was Kanda. Thank God. I don't think I could handle a sympathetic Kanda.

Then my head was sent forward into the book that I had been holding. I guess I had stopped reading it a while ago... I looked behind me to see a pissed off Kanda. "Huh?" I said, looking at him, confused. "I've been trying to get you attention for the past ten minutes idiot." Kanda said, glaring at me as if I had eaten his Soba noodles. "Ah sorry, sorry. What's up?" I asked, putting the book down and turning to face him. "Bookman wants you. So I suggest you hurry before he decides to kick you for being late." He said before walking off, presumably to train.

I sighed, standing up, grabbing the book I was supposed to have finished and walking toward the old panda's room. I didn't exactly rush to get there, so yes, there was a foot in my jaw not two seconds after I opened the door. "Ouch! Stupid old panda." I hissed, leaning back on my hand while the other held my jaw. Well, he hasn't change in the least. Unfortunately. 

Kanda's POV

That damn rabbit has been out of it for a week. Komui can't send him on any missions by himself, or with anyone else. He keeps screwing things up, even the simplest of things. Which is why he had been stuck here with Bookman and Komui, doing whatever they have him do. And I doubt he can even do that. It makes me want to strangle him and tell him to get his shit together and get over it. It's not the first time someone in the Order has died. He should already be used to it; Finders die constantly, and so do Exorcists, though not as often, and there aren't many of us. Damn rabbit!


	20. Awakening

Allen's POV

I woke up in an unfamiliar place, and I assumed that I was alone. The first thing that I noticed was the beeping, and it sped up a bit at the same time I felt fear flood into my body. Wait... That was my heartbeat. Why? I should be dead. Tykki plunged his hand into my chest. I was sure he had gotten to my heart with ease. Or maybe he'd used one the the Tease?

But here I am, breathing, alive. I sat up quickly only for pain to follow, making me cringe. Ah, I was sore. Well, that's to be expected. I did push my Innocence passed it's limits. Wait, my Innocence! Tykki was a Noah, and out to destroy Innocence. My eyes widened quickly, the beeping of the monitor rising again as I look over to my right arm. I swear that my heart had skipped a beat and dropped into my stomach as I saw that my arm was missing.

The beeping continued to speed up more after my realization. I stopped thinking and ripped the tubes and cords from my body, the monitor got ever louder as it flat lined, not having a link to my heart any longer.

I was up and out of the room, stumbling over my feet a few times. How long had I been under? Long enough to effect my ability to walk. I admit that I might have been over cautious. But I didn't know where I was or who these people were. For all I knew I could be inside one of Road's twisted dimensions. I came to what appeared to be large stone double doors. Much like the Order's. The only difference was the material that they were made of.

It was only when I slammed my fist into the door that I realized that it was wrapped, and it sent pain shooting up my arm. I groaned in pain, pulling my arm back in pain and cringing. The pain didn't matter right now. I needed to get out and away from here. I felt the need to survive growing in me. I needed to get back to the Order, and help finish the Noah clan. I needed to fight along side my friends. I continued slamming my fist down onto the door, pain coursing throughout my body, but I didn't stop, not even when blood began to seep through the bandages. I only hesitated when I heard light steps coming from behind me, but I didn't turn around, only drop my arm.

Bak's POV

I was surprised that he had heard me behind him, at least surprised over him stopping what he was doing. Fou wouldn't be all too happy about it.

"What? Are you here to clear up your mistake?" His voice came out cold and hard, and yet he showed no fear while thinking someone was here to kill him. Such an action reminded me of a certain samurai, only I didn't know who this one was, but it was clear he was an exorcist. "I don't know what you're talking about. But would you mind explaining why you left the room?" He turned around at the question, giving me a look as if he questioned my intelligence.

"To go back." Vague, I hate vague. "To where?" "My friends." "Who?" Though my last question was answered by silence and him narrowing his eyes. "Fine, fine. I understand, dear exorcist. Would you at least mind telling me your name? After all, we could have left you out there." He seemed to only tense up. "Allen. Why don't you know that?" It was an odd question, and it threw me off no doubt. "And it's only right to return the courtesy." Heh. Brat. "I'm Bak Chan. Director of the Asian Branch of the Order."

The hostility in him dropped after that, and I took that as an okay to approach. He sighed, leaning against the doors. "Now tell me. Why so desperate to leave when you're defenseless? You have no Innocence, and you're clearly wounded." He gave me a stunned look before looking down. His hair fell into his face, hiding his eyes easily. "I promised to move forward. I can't just give up. Not after everything... We can't lose anymore exorcists." He was seemingly worthy. I would trust him.

That's when Wong came up running and yelling at me. "Bak Chan! Bak! He's left the treatment room!" He only came to a stop after seeing Allen himself. "Ah. Why is he here?" By then I was walking away. "Take care of his injuries and get him some food. We'll have a discussion later." When he wouldn't be so hurt and would be capable of what I had planned.


	21. Recovery

Allen's POV

I had been waiting a week and a half, maybe more for Bak Chan to let me in on whatever he was planning. Not only that, but I had been caught training numerous time. Not once had I gone without a scolding, but there was something I was missing. Something I couldn't place about Bak's actions. The look behind his eyes that contradicted his words; and I swear I had seen him smirking as he left.

"How many times do I need to tell you not to do this training off yours while recovering? Tell me, Walker, how many times since you've woken?" He said, and I internally groaned. I felt like he would never stop babying me. Mana had been the only one that really treated me like this, beside the time I supposedly lost my wits with Cross. He never did explain that to me,

"This would just mark over fifty times in the past eleven days Bak Chan." I spoke before lowering my legs to the floor beneath me, and Bak sent me a look. "I didn't want an answer, Walker." He spoke, and for once, outside of the Black Order, someone didn't treat me like I deserved respect for being an exorcist. "I apologize. I just don't want another mallet over the head." I mumbled the last portion under my breath, shuddering at the thought of the last time I had laid eyes on my Master.

"What was that? Nevermind. That's not important at the moment. Just what are you made of, Allen Walker? Missing an entire limb, yet you can easily keep your balance, and even push up your body weight. Yet you're not all that build like one would expect with that type of strength." Ah, he definitely was a curious person. He'd come in quite a few times to "inspect" me. Understandable really, I should in fact, be dead. Innocence ripped from me an destroyed, Tyki's hand in my chest.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by a grumbling Bak as he pulled on my arm, taking me with him. Where ever it was we were going. "Excuse me Bak Chan, but where are we headed?" I asked. They refused to ever let me outside of this place. And I also snuck off on my own whenever I had the chance. I was hardly allowed out of that room. "Were you not listening Walker? I said we were going to work on getting your arm back to you." I'm sure I was giving him an awestruck look. Impossible, my arm was made of Innocence. A weapon. And it was destroyed before my eyes. He dragged me into a... Foggy place? Had we left the Order?

"What is this? Bak Chan?" I asked, but he seemed as enchanted by it as I was. "Ah, well, I'm not sure how to put this. But it's your arm, Walker." Yet another impossible thing. "Fou found you outside near this place, and the mist was surrounding you. She said it just, appeared really. When she was carrying you away, taking you here, it seemed to follow you. We've done a few experiments to figure it out. It is Innocence. Just, in a gaseous form. It can only be yours. You were the only person for miles, the only living person." He finished, and by the distasteful look I was given, I suspect I was giving him the most idiotic look.

"I'll be observing from there." He said, pointed to windows, looking back at me. "I'll be there recording what happens, and I'll instruct you from there on a few theories we've made on how to manifest your arm. Although, only one seems straight forward, and also the most likely to bring your arm back." He finished, walking off before I even had the chance to ask him anything. 

"Alright, Walker. Are you ready?" That was Bak's voice, so there was some sort of com system. I simply nodded, and he began to speak again. "All you need to do, is activate the Innocence. As if it was still apart of your body. Will it to manifest itself into the physical form of your arm." He spoke, and it sounded so simplistic that I didn't even believe it would work. But I tried regardless.

This mist, the fog, whatever you would describe it as, came toward me, going to my missing arm. I saw it, it was shaping itself into my arm. But it exploded out, away from me, sending me stumbling back. I admit my disappointment. But I had hope, it had started to work. I know, I could feel it. It felt like my arm, a part of myself.

I continued to try, time and time again, until I was exhausted to the point that I collapsed. Everyday, for three weeks I think. I kept at it until I couldn't even sit up or breathe properly. I don't remembering even to eat in the past week. I just needed my arm back. That's all I cared about. Then I could return to the Order, back to my friends, fight again, move forward. I just... I just need my arm, my Innocence.

Bak's POV

It wasn't working. It was, but wasn't. It came to him, knew that it belonged with him, to help him. It seemed to know who it was supposed to be with. But it wasn't working. Not only that, but Walker was getting weaker as time went by. He needed to start eating, but no one could get him to, and even if I told him he wasn't allowed here, he found a way in. I needed to use the other idea I had, and believe me, I hoped I wouldn't need to. But as things are now, I've no choice. I need Fou.


	22. New Partner

It was strange, for once the doors weren't locked tight, and I could walk in effortlessly. I walked into the familiar scene of seemingly glowing fog, making it nearly impossible to see but five feet in front of you, and even that was hard.

I headed to the spot I usually went to, but I never got there. I felt the air shift, and I acted on instinct. Though, maybe that was only because Cross had attacked me so many times after I'd finished working, He had claimed it was to keep me on my toes and ready for any attack. My Master finally became useful.

I quickly side-stepped the attack, sliding across the floor slightly, coming to a stop. I hardly saw it coming, but I saw the figure launch at me, moving faster than any normal person I'd ever seen. I moved again, trying to access what was happening. The silhouette shifted into my sight. Weapons in both hands, small framed.

There was no glint of metal before the lunged, slashing at me, and it felt familiar to me. Such fast movements, the precision in the attack, and the slightest feeling of a murderous aura. It was familiar, in more than one way. The danger I felt, it seemed like Kanda was pointing Mugen at my throat again.

I didn't even think, just acted, trying to activate my innocence again. The mist that it now was rushed toward me, nearly taking form before dissolving again. I saw my adversary. Female, pale, arms being the actual weapon. She seemed like me, her own body able to turn itself into the weapon.

She showed no hesitation as she attacked me again, and again, relentlessly. I barely had any time to gather my footing before she launched yet another attack at me. So far, she had only been swinging her blades at me, but never giving me enough time to attack her in return. Not that I would even be able to. She had weapons, whereas I was unarmed. The next time she attacked, I didn't think, but continued to move, getting as much distance between us as possible.

"What are you doing?! I don't know you, why are you attacking me!" I demanded, and simply got a bored look in return, but she ceased her attacks and reverted her arms back from their weapon form. "Getting back at the brat who made it hard to find my way." I tensed, and I don't doubt the confused look I had was what made her roll her eyes, and huff. "Have you told him nothing Bak?! How could they leave someone like you in charge!" She called, looking toward the observation room above us.

"You're the one who refused to go see him after he was conscious again." Came Bak's voice, and somehow, it irritated me that he hadn't stopped her from attacking me. They were comrades, he could have said anything. "Now, if you would introduce yourself." He stated, and she crossed her arms, shaking her head.

"Fou, the guardian of this place. I'm also the person who dragged your ass back her while you bled on me. Surprised you're not dead." My jaw went slack as I stared at her in wonder and surprise, blinking while I processed what she had said to me. "This damn mist made it a pain to get back faster." She, Fou, grumbled irritably. "Ah, I'm sorry. Thank you for carrying me back her." I spoke quickly, bowing slightly. Though, I hadn't expected a fist to collide with my skull and make me stumbled forward a bit. When had she moved over here. "Pain in the ass brat." She groaned.

"And to explain what's going on," Bak's voice came, and I could just hear him smirking, "She's going to try to kill you. All you have to do is activate your innocence and fight back." He said, as if it was simple. He wasn't the one going to be killed because he had no way to defend himself. "Wait-" But I was cut off with a kick to my shoulder blades.

"Don't talk, survive." Fou said, disappearing back into the fog that was my arm. I couldn't anything but dodge her incoming attacks, or block them. Though, I opted for moving away from her. I'd rather not take the chance of being cut into.

We continued for hours a day, day after day until I was exhausted, and even then, we didn't stop. We only took breaks or stopped entirely when Fou wished for it. I didn't know whether or not she was holding back, but I could tell she didn't particularly care if she injured, or killed me so it seemed.

She'd bruised and battered me, left shallow cuts on my body, and I'm sure at some point she might sprain, fracture, or brake my body. I never seemed to get any better at defending myself, and I never landed any solid attacks, only ever scrapping her.

And you can be sure I wasn't prepared for what happened next.


	23. Intrusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got two original stories on my wattpad account, under the same name on here, if you want to check them out.

Allen's POV 

We continued day after day until Fou decided to stop and rest, but we atill weren't getting anywhere. I couldn't get my innocence to activate and return to its original state. I barely even managed to make an outline of my arm any more. Bak had said that maybe I just didn't understand my own innocence, but that we also didn't have time.

It made me wonder, if everything was in vain. We'd managed to get another exorcist on the way, Krory. We've started to narrow down where Cross went, all that had been left was to get there and find him. Yet, I couldn't save Suman, he still died in the end. And I'd lost my arm, and nearly my life. No one's told me what's happening in the war. I promised, vowed that I'd continue to move forward. But I'm stuck now.

I remember the explanation Bak gave, that raw innocence was nearly impossible to control. And that parasite types like Suman, Krory, and myself, are virtually weapons.

Fou tried to cheer me up, disguising herself as Lou Fa, who I incidentally met because Fou nearly beheaded me. I know why I fight. To move forward for Mana, but because I also want to protect my friends. That includes the people I've met here. Eong, Bak, Fou, Lou Fa, Rekei, Shifu. 

"Ah, Fou. Thank you, for the light." I said, smiling though her back was to me. I really did appreciate it. But she started acting strangely. Staggering to a stop, shaking a bit. "Fou?" I called, but all she said was to hide me. Keep me safe. But, why? I jumped down from my spot, only to see something come from her, burst from her chest. I wasn't expecting it. The level three akuma. I don't know what I felt. It was just, a rush, of everything. I felt excited, thrilled even. "Bak! Hide Walker! We've been breached!" Her voice came out stronger than before, but the struggle was there.

"White hair, strange eye. You must be Allen Walker. You must been eliminated." I hardly had time to react before I was shot, with something. I didn't know what was happening after that, just, extreme pain. I faintly knew I was screaming.

Lou Fa's POV

I-Ive never seen an akuma in person. It was terrifying. Exorcists fought these things everyday, finders perished at their hands. My mind was brought out of the haze by the scream that came from Allen, a thread peircing his body. Shifu stopped me from touching it however; only then did I see his body seeming to fade, becoming transparent. I was scared. It so easily took Allen by surprise, and had him suffering without so much as taking a step. I was at a lose of what to do, and all I ever did was think. But I had no solution.

Bak's POV

Fou was calling to me, desperately. She was never desperate. All she ever said was hide Allen, help Allen. How could there possibly been a breach? My grandfather's guardian deity had been successfully protecting the Asian Branch for two hundred years. But that didn't matter, I found myself already rushing to wgere Fou had been.

I hastily carved the insignia into my hand, summoning the deity. It wouldn't last long. Not against an akuma, and especially not against a level three. The attack stunned the akuma, releasing its attack on Allen. Shifu and Rekei grabbed Allen, carrying him toward me in a rush while I went to Fou, getting her before retreating.

We ran to the place Allen and Fou had been fighting, trying to regain his innocence. "Be careful with him. His molecular structure seems to be unstable. Even the slightly hit could shatter him." I spoke, setting up a wall to by us more time. Though, it only seemed to make him nervous. We ended up stopping near the training room, and I blocked it off, since it seems it'd blasted it's way through opposite to us.

Fou could stand on her own now, though a bit off kilter. And Allen was just regaining consciousness. Ah, I wonder how this is going to go.

Allen's POV

By the time I had woken, we were in a different place, and I couldn't tell where. But my eye told me exactly where the akuma was. And that's where I wanted to be. "Bak, let me fight. I can fight." I was determined, but it's certainly not how I sounded at all. "Are you an idiot?! Your molecules are all over the place! Even a hit from me would kill you! How can you hope to fight a level three akuma?!" That was the first level three I'd ever had the chance to see. I got off of Rekei, nearly loosing my footing. "I don't care. I can do it." Slowly my voice went back to normal, making me at least a bit more believable.

"So open it for me. I know it's behind here. Open it." But he only refused. "No, Walker. Every exorcist is crucial. Do you know what would happen if we lost even one?! This war, we're already at a disadvantage!" I won't die. I need to move forward. "If you won't open it for me, I'll just make my own door." But I didn't even have the chance. Rekei, and Shifu had restrained me.

It was weird, seeing Fou change into me. They really weren't going to let me fight. "I'm not an exorcist, so I doubt I'll be able to defeat this akuma. But Walker, you need to live." I had no time to speak before she disappeared into the wall. It should have been me. I should be the one fighting.

After trying to black mail Bak into letting me through, I'd been let go because of shock. "You can't!" Bak yelled at me, but I slammed him into the wall. "You don't need to keep acting. You've already broken out into hives you're so angry." Not to mention he was crying. He cared about Fou, her well being. I knew he didn't want to let her die, but losing and exorcist isn't an option. I loosened my grip on his shirt before speaking. "You told me that I was a weapon to help be able to use innocence. You're right. I am. When I saw that akuma, it was like my blood started to flow again. Bak, I live for akuma. For the soul purpose of saving them, destroying them." It's like what I said to Kanda on our job. I want to be a destroyer who saves. "I'm a living weapon Bak. I need to fight." At some point, I'd let him go.

He sank, and I went through. But it made me a bit angry. It was stepping on Fou, like she was trash. I jumped, touching it with my hand and pushing myself off of it."What's this? Will you be more powerful?" It was easy to gain his attention after Fou changed back.

We fought, well, I really only dodged tss attacks. I had no way of making any of my own that would really effect it. Even when putting all my strength into a physical attack, I didn't move or hurt it in the slightest. I went to push myself toward him from the wall, but the impact, well, I felt myself breaking, shattering into pieces slowly. "You can't even fight me! You're weak!" Maybe right now. "Walker!" Ah, Bak had come in to help Fou. I'm glad. And then I fell. 

I don't remember much of what actually happened, physically. I just remember my decision. Some how, I knew all along that I lived for the akuma, fought for them. They were my reason to be alive. But somewhere along the line, humans too became a reason. I need them both, I want to help them both. I finally understand what it is that my innocence wanted. My left for akuma, and my right for humans. A compromise of sorts, but it also wasn't. I felt connected to my innocence, so much more than before. I finally understand what it wanted, what we wanted.

I came back up, and sent my innocence to protect Bak and Fou from anymore damage. It seems they've both been hit by this akumas power. I ended up trapping the akuma. I plan on saving it's soul, but I needed to know who sent it. "Why are you here? Who sent you?" I asked, not sure what to feel. "Hahaha! As if I'd tell you! How about a deal, if I tell you, you let me go." "Of course." I smiled, which only seemed to get a rise out of it. Although, I was being serious. "Ahaha! You won't! I was sent here to kill you by my master! Tyki Mikk!" Oh, him. Why do they want me dead so badly?

I could hear its soul, calling out to me. Begging to be loved. It knew, it knew it was ugly, it knew it had sinned and regretted it. It only wanted to be loved. It kept saying please love me. Of course, I do. I love you, akuma and human alike. "Then I'll be letting you go. Though, why tell me?" I questioned, drawing a cross that woulf destroy this akuma, setting it free. "Because... Because I feel good." Oh, that makes me rather glad. And with that, it was destroyed. And I was able to see its soul released, cleansed, relieved, finally happy again. I deactivated my innocence, my eye as well. I'd seen what I wanted.

Destroying the akuma reversed the affects its power had, making Fou and Bak stable again. I walked over to them, and held out my right hand to Bak. He didn't look like he'd be letting Fou go anytime soon.

It was over. I could move forward again. I had my innocence back. I could fight for akumas and humans again. I felt alive again. I missed this. All that was left was getting back to my group and continuing the search for Cross.


	24. Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, longest chapter yet. The next is already in process, not sure when it'll be out though.

Allen's POV

Despite Bak's protests and warnings, I'd traveled through the Ark to Edo, which unfortunately my master had brought me to in attempt to "make me man up." 

But you see, what I don't understand, is how the very same Ark, could be falling apart into ruin. Noah are here as well. We'd left Kanda behind with a bulky looking one. I've no idea what his name is, but that's fine, seeing as Tyki's and Road's are a bit... Unique.

After leaving Kanda, we'd ended up leaving Krory as well. Jasdero, and Devit I believe were their names. They were, well, I'm not sure, but it seemed something might have been fundamentally wrong with them. Not that it couldn't be said about every Noah I've had the chance to meet.

It made me wonder, how strong each of these family members were. Even with three exorcists, just two Noah were enough to nearly annihilate us.

Again with Road and Tyki. Why were they so interested in me? Even enough so that Road, who'd impaled my eye with a candle, to kiss me, and show unusual affection.

Though, I'd wished Tyki had kept his mouth shut about the Tease eating a hole through my heart. It shocked Lavi and Lenalee, but Lavi also seemed pretty angry.

We'd hardly made it out, the rest of the Ark had crumbled, and now this place was as well. The only reason anyone was alive was because Cross had miraculously "showed up." Though, he'd actually been using Maria's power to hide himself while, for once, doing his job.

Tim had taken me to some sort of secret room, where I was being watched by the dark figure from my dreams. Even when I'd never touched a piano in my life, I played the sheet music like it was second nature to me. And the score, it was impossible. No one should know that code, only Mana and I did. After all, we had made it.

I'd somehow managed to return the Ark to its former glory, and stopped the egg from downloading. I'm sure I'd be hearing quite a few complaints from Lavi. But there was also the matter of Cross and Lenalee. I want to kill that man.

Lavi's POV

Allen was still a mystery to me. Even after months of being in a relationship, there was so much I didn't know about him. Though I couldn't say I was much better. 49th alias and all. But that's not the point.

After clinging to his side for a while, whilst everything was being sorted out, I dragged Allen toward his room. I didn't trust Bookman not to barge in, but he also thought I was just fooling around with Allen as I have been doing to everyone before him. Quite the reputation really.

I closed the door, locking it. I was going to interrogate him, but first I kissed him. He seemed shocked, but kissed me back with little hesitation. Ever since we started to mission to gind Cross, we'd been to preoccupied to find any time.

I released his lips, and hugged him tightly, which was returned, with the added grip to the back of my uniform. "I seriously thought you were dead Allen. Tim showed us everything. We went back for you, but you were gone." It really hurt just remembering it. For a Bookman, this was probably shameful, but for Lavi...

He let out a bitter laugh. "I thought I was dead too. Not to mention my Innocence." He sounded as if he were on the verge of tears. "They wouldn't let me contact you guys. And I was trying to regain my Innocence so I could go back. I'm sorry I was late." I tightened my grip more, nuzzling my face into his odd silver hair. "We were pretty busy ourselves." I mumbled.

I didn't let him go for a bit and we just stayed in silence during that time. I ended up leaning against the wall with my shoulder blades before I realized it. I lightly removed Allen from me, holding him at arms length. Now that I had gotten the reassurance that Allen really was alive, might I add I didn't know I needed, it was time to have a serious discussion about his stupid decisions.

"What the hell drove you into returning to the fight after having a hole in your heart?" I asked, and I felt too serious. It wasn't like me, but this felt normal, needed. What I should be doing. "It was fine. My Innocence saved me, became a part of my heart." Wait, there was another exception? Innocence had saved him too. Noy just Lenalee. "What about your Innocence? I watched Tyki destroy it before you sent Timcampy to us with Suman's." I fired right after getting my answer. "Turned to mist. Not too sure about that myself." He spoke. "Right, so how'd you get it back?" He didn't quite answer me. "Well, a level three attacked... And it resonanced because om my resolve. I didn't understand it very well to begin with." He said with a small forced laugh. "Wait, your resolve? What was it?" I was with Lenalee when she made her final choice... "I want to save them. Humans and Akuma. I-I love them both oddly." That's what stunned me, and I lost very thing else I wanted to ask in that moment.

Allen's POV

I'm afraid to know what Lavi thinks about this. About my loving Akuma. Just like I did humans. He looked like he was going to break. Although, I wondered what had happened on his end while I was gone, it didn't seem right to ask at this time.

After a bit, he looked like he would fallen over, so I gradually lead him to my recently unused bed, and he sat heavily. He hadn't even paid attention to what was happening, too lost in his own thought. I ended up standing in front of him, slightly bent over looking at him while he thought.

He mumbled something under his breath, but I didn't catch it. "Lavi, I can't hear you." I spoke quietly, timid even, afraid of what he might say. "I don't care. I don't, Allen." He said, and I felt my heart drop. What did he mean by that? Doesn't care about what? "I don't care about any of that. I mean, I do. I'm glad you told me, really. But I don't care about that as long as you love me too. I'm not even slightly okay with being replaced, or not being loved the most." The amount of relief that flooded into me was shocking. I hadn't expected that. "Of course. You mean the most to me." I spoke, reaching out my now black arm to him, though he only grabbed me and pulled me into his lap.

It was still embarrassing after all these months, being in these situations. Maybe not embarrassing really, but I became more conscious of Lavi. Especially right now, seeing as we were only inches away, and he'd pulled me into his lap, and held me in place. It made me more aware of our position. The fact that I had ended up straddling him. His forest green eye simply watching me.

I wanted to move away, really just remove myself from his lap, but he didn't seem to happy with that idea. "We haven't seen or heard from each other in what, a few months? And you're trying to get away from me?" He spoke, though clearly rhetorically. "Well, no. However-" This man, not even letting me finish. "Don't "however" me. I can't be the only one who missed you." Lavi stated, mock offence making its way to his expression. "Don't say that. I did miss you." I admitted, though might have been a tad bit too busy trying to regain my anti-akuma weapon to have thought too much into it. How many days had I gone without sleep?

I can't imagine what type of lecture Lavi would bare down on me if he knew I had neglected basically all of my body's needs. Though, he was the one always staying up until the sun rose reading and whatnot.

"Then let's stay like this for a bit. I haven't been able to talk to you, much less actually touch you. I'm needy." He joked, but it was also the sad truth. I was forbidden to make any sort of outside communication, plus Bak handled anything Komui had asked. I let a sigh slip at the thought, and Lavi gave me a strange, questioning look. "Alright. Fine. But can I at least get more comfortable? I'm positive my legs might give out." I stated, and he looked down to see I had been holding up most of my weight. "Right." Was all he said before slightly altering his position and simply falling back onto my recently unused bed.

I felt my body jerk from surprise. Even though I planned to stop myself, Lavi had yet to release me, so I went down with him, not having enough timeto stop myself from colliding with his chest. I grunted lightly at the impact befire huffing at his antics. "Months without seeing you, and you have matured at all." I spoke as I pushed myself up to look at him, only to see his pouting face. "I'm still older than you, you know." Says the one who tries to be decapitated by Kanda for using his name. "Doesn't make you more mature." I stated simply with a small shrug. "Hey, shut it." Though, I didn't have a chance to respond. He'd pulled me down, and our lips connected with a bit more force than usual. It only lasted a few seconds before the door slammed against the wall. Which is what made us jerk apart.

"After fighting with how many Noah, and akuma, you think you can skip out on recuperating, healing, and resting?! Now, that won't be happening on my watch! You two will be coming with me. Now." Ah, the matron. The matron had caught Lavi and myself in this position... How embarrassing.

Lavi's POV

I chuckled as I watched Allen's face flushed three different shades of pink. Though, matron didn't seem to care a bit, seeing as she casually walked over to us, lifted Allen to his feet, and yanking my arm to make me move. She had an iron grip on our arms as she moved to the medical center, heading straight for the resting room. Though, I'd much rather have her deal with us than us dealing with Komui, and his "fixing." Well, I don't particularly care, but from the way Allen's face pales at the mention of Komui fixing parasite types, well...

When we were shoved into the room, Kanda was meditating, Chaoji simply watching from the side as General Theodore tried to make conversation with Kanda. Marie subtly trying to convince Theodore otherwise. Krory was still unconscious, and pretty damn banged up. Lenalee and Miranda sat in their current beds, chatting away about who knows what. And Bookman, well, he sat on his own bed, surrounded by stacks of paper and books.

Allen didn't even hesitate to turn back to matron, apparently on the verge of starvation. "Lavi and I haven't had the chance to eat. Do you mind if we go get something?" Which was easily rejected by matron. "Absolutely not. You can do so after your wounds have been tended to." Was all she said before speaking with someone of the nurses before leaving to tend to something else. Allen trudged over to one of the vacant beds, grumbling about how Cross had done much worse to him.


End file.
